Knife’s Payback Christmas List
Posted on August 22, 2008 by DJ Knife
Dear Santa Claus,
My dude. It’s early for this letter, but since you never got me what I wanted I figured why the fuck not write your fat ass now.
Listen…if you bless the god with what you already owe me in the next week, we’ll call it even. Plus that’s one last stop on your trip around the world nah mean? I don’t care what you got to do, just do it. Even if you, Rudolph, Ricky and Mike have to go back in time to cop my shit, I want what’s rightfully mine you pasty bitch.
Number one. Whatever happened to my Chuck Norris Action Jeans asshole? I cried over these shits in first grade. Now I blame you for all the bullies I wasn’t able to roundhouse kick. So we’ll start with those.
And what about those slightly worn Cobra sneakers I prayed for every night in 82?
Instead I had to go to school in Air Jesus’s and that shit ain’t cool in three feet of snow Santa. No sir. At least you got some big black timberlands.
Which brings me to those Robot Freazy Freaky mittens I asked for in 85. Those get stuck in the chimney or something?
Oh yeah, and what about that Henry And The Hendersons Beta Tape I asked you about back in 88? I’ll settle for the DVD now. That’s on Amazon…or you can have one of your elves re-enact the whole shit. Either way.
I want this poster too. (Don’t judge me. You wear a red velvet one-piece).
Alright Santa. I see you. Better got on that eBay or something,
Knife
» Filed Under Consumerism, Rap Beef, Uncategorized | 
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7 Responses to “Knife’s Payback Christmas List”
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hahaha Knife you were old enough to pray in 1982.
we got to pray just to make it today homie.
Is it true that Knife doesn’t even know how to post shit himself? That he has to rely on Trees? How lame.
Now now Chris. You must realise that Trees controls the pace and tone of this blog. He’s the queen and we’re just his pawns. Even you.
I’m trying to teach the little homey to fish – but the sale @ pier is too good to pass up right now.
[...] thought Knife was referring to the Trackmasters for a minute – and I was like, DEM FOOS DIDN’T SEND US SH*T FOR VENTURE CAPITAL.. then I realized he was [...]
you know what they say. if you teach a homey to fish, he’ll buy a mcdonald’s filet-o-fish. thats true.