Rothbury Music Festival: First Post
Posted on July 3, 2009 by Martín Caballero
I wish I could say I saw a couple more cities on my way to Rothbury, Michigan. We—my friends Spencer, Mills, Maysa, Keith and myself—drove from Allston to Michigan in about 17 hours, passing through Cleveland, Detroit, Lansing and a couple other places along the way. After making it through a 20-hour bus ride in Argentina a few years ago, I’ve learned to appreciate all the things you see along the way during a road trip that you miss on a plane.
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JTTS Obituary: We Buried VIBE Magazine. For Good.
Posted on July 2, 2009 by Chris Faraone
After publishing for nearly 16 years, this week VIBE magazine announced that it’s going out of business. The news comes on the heels of a much-publicized beef between the publication and prominent underground hip-hop blog, JumpTheTurnStyle.com.
“Fuck VIBE right in the shitter,” says JTTS co-founder Chris Faraone, who was cleaning his testicles in the shower when reached for comment. “With the exception of those Janet Jackson tit-torals, I’ve never had any use for that rag.”
While it once served as a semi-purposeful purveyor of the urban music news-scape, in the past few years VIBE has focused on making lists of things it knows nothing about. Recently, editors and readers laughably chose the Best Rappers and Best Hip-Hop Blogs.
“It was that stupid blog list that really put the nail in the coffin,” says Boston University media expert Ralph Macchio. “Those JumpTheTurnStyle cats are like Daniel LaRusso, and VIBE was like the Cobra Kai. Not surprisingly, in the end, the latter got dropped with a swift crane kick to the groin.”
VIBE founder Quincy Jones was unavailable for comment on account of his also losing another baby this week. Funeral services for VIBE have not yet been planned, but it is unlikely that any rabid fans will be camped out in front of their New York offices.
“Nobody gives a shit,” says JTTS co-founder Marty Caballero. “It’s just that simple.”
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Great Big Boob Post
Posted on July 2, 2009 by Chris Faraone
My plan was to just sit around tonight - maybe take a day off from blogging. And then I remembered that I found this amazing site - Rate My Boobs - that I forgot to tell you all about.
I know that some of you are like, “Yeah - I knew about that,” in which case you should be ashamed of yourselves for not sharing the information. Next time you know about something this fabulous, please spread the wealth.
ENJOY!!!
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JTTS Greatest Rappers of All-Time: #86 – Kool Keith
Posted on July 1, 2009 by Chris Faraone
Dust was never my drug of choice. As much as I enjoy getting twisted, the sherm threw me so far away from normalcy that I once shat myself on a bad trip. In addition to control issues, I was also born more into the Special K and ecstasy era than I was into the leak years.
I can’t say the same for Kool Keith. Since his days as an Ultramagnetic MC, his style was anchored in an intoxicating need to not just say the opposite of what average cats would say – but to say what nobody on earth would expect to drip from any human’s jawbone. If you said “tomato,” he’d say, “flagella.”
And then there were the beats. Like so many luminaries who came up before we threw parades for producers, he was never given proper dues for his aural innovation (though Keith is partly to blame since he’s given himself credit under more than half-a-dozen aliases). You know those contemporary El-P beats that don’t really sound like beats? Keith deserves bundles of props for those lo-fi abstractions.
I’ve interviewed Keith a few times, and he’s one of the strangest, nicest, and most arrogant dudes out there. His persona on record – as far as I can tell – is the way he acts while he’s eating corn flakes at the breakfast table (though I’m not sure if he wears the studded harness, Black Elvis wig, and moon boots).
Above all, Keith is a seismic word machine, and, as far as he’s concerned, all those who have come similar but come after are imposters. That’s not so say he lacks respect for students and contemporaries; his work with the Cenobites, Kutmasta Kurt, Ice-T, and so many others has challenged and surprised at every burn.
Some of Keith’s laments are warranted; half the so-called space rappers who proliferated in the 90s would likely name him as a great influence. As would nerds like me, who used to (and even still) get hella wasted and crack up to Dr. Dooom and such. A diverse list like this wouldn’t be possible without Keith; if he never landed here then half of our favorite rappers would be making weird and awful rock music.
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We’re Like.. A Year Old.. And No One Even Thought (Including Myself) To Make A Poast About It.. So Here Goes.
Posted on July 1, 2009 by Sleezy Trees
Some of my favorite poastings from the past year.. and a brief synopsis of why I like them:
oh and THIS IS PART ONE!
SUP - Self explanatory.
Sleezy of the Week 002: American Apparel Bitches - Oft imitated. I was the first to blog about this shit. I can still get fully erect looking at this post, just like I could a year ago.
To The Asshole That Invented Balls (DJ Knife) - DJ Knife had some good gems on JTTS throughout the early months. It’s rumored that the man might be making a comeback. Time will tell.
OM Records Responds to the Van $tylez vs. DJ ON&ON Fight @ UGHH - Really two posts.. but the final days of both DJ ON&ON and I at UndergroundHipHop.com. This was the day that I beat Tame One and all these dudes in a 40 oz drinking contest.. and yet.. well, I won in life that day too I guess.
DJ Knife Reports Live From A.J. Wright - Part 1 + Part 2 - still to this day, Knife swears by AJ Wright’s fashions and deals.
1st Google Result When You Search “JumpTheTurnstyle”. - now who’s on top bitchez!!!
Layed-Off From UGHH - funny for the single comment of support “Ur a mick fagget who got fired by a lisping kike who paid you in free babygrande merchandise”
What MJ Should Look Like - Awww naw.
Chris Faraone Falsely Claiming He Would Get A JTTS Tattoo After 1,000 Posts - over 1,200 now.. still … no tattoo. fgt.
Texas Mike, Ultimate Human Being - greatest dude ever.
PART TWO DROPPING LATER THIS WEEK..
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Blaq Poet Beats You Down. New Boston Phoenix Feature.
Posted on June 30, 2009 by Chris Faraone
“Whoever wants it can get it,” says Poet on the phone from QB. “I’m making decisions right now about whether to start a war. It can be anybody — pick a nigga, any nigga. Everybody’s talking shit like they’re the best — well, let’s see, let’s get it popping, motherfucker. We can battle without shooting each other. We’ll go to jail if we really shoot at each other, so we might as well battle.”
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JTTS Greatest Rappers of All-Time: #87 – 50 Cent
Posted on June 30, 2009 by Chris Faraone
50 Cent was the first truly famous rapper who I ever interviewed. And he wasn’t even really all that famous yet. “Wanksta” had dropped – and New York was amped – but he was no more a mixtape legend than were then-heavyweights like Jae Millz and Mysonne.
I don’t even remember the magazine that hired me to do the story – I think it was some bullshit promotional venture. Before I got established in the game, I did a lot of crap jobs that never panned out. This particular gig was to interview 50 at Club Mirage before he rocked a post-prom high school blowout.
My friend Steve and I showed up early; he was one of the promoters, so I got to hang backstage, where I smoked numerous blunts with various second-rate entourages before 50 showed up with his – and with Busta Rhymes. We spoke for about ten minutes – it went well – then everybody cleared the green room and filed on stage. Including me and Steve.
About half way through the set I leaned over and asked Steve if he noticed what him and I had in common with nobody else. “We’re white,” he said, to which I replied, “No – we’re the only two schmucks who aren’t wearing bulletproof vests.”
That story has no underlying meaning; I just figured this would be a good time to tell it. That memory also reminds me of how fucking dope 50 was before he went pop; Guess Who’s Back and whatever else exists of his early Trackmasters joints and mixtape work packs an extraordinary number of legendary lines.
Some might argue that 50 doesn’t belong on this list – that he’s squandered his skills too severely by dropping shit song after shit song. I disagree though – if for no other reason than that I believe his early hustle alone qualifies him as one of the best to ever run it. On the other hand, I can’t deny that he also belongs on the Greatest Wastes of Fucking Talent countdown as well.
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FREE DOWNLOAD: DJ Premier x Michael Jackson
Posted on June 29, 2009 by Martín Caballero
As I sat there staring at Trees’s post, wallowing in the hopelessness of poor Faraone’s situation, this came like an answer from the heavens above. DJ Premier, that great bastion of hip-hop, he who’s judgement cannot be questioned, drops this tribute mix to the King of Pop through his website. As you might expect, it’s more than just playing the hits, coming with some rarer songs and a super-official Paul Mooney intro. The fact is that Premo has confirmed that you should, no–you WILL respect MJ. If you contradict DJ Premier, your face will likely explode into chunks of bloody meat. Do so at your own risk.
DOWNLOAD: DJ Premier x Michael Jackson- MJ Tribute (Radio Mix)
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faraone, you’re contrite handling of MJ’s death is as lame as a Euphrates x Necro collabo.
Posted on June 29, 2009 by Sleezy Trees
seriously dude. you’re playing yourself hard if you don’t acknowledge this dude’s unmatched talent. i like hip hop as much as the next guy, but let’s be real. dudes stand around on stage and rhyme words over a beat.
mj mercs your whole life with this smooth criminal performance. one of the best i’ve ever scene. on top of that, he does the lean live. no wires.
i’ll take showmanship any day over “RHODE ISLAND.. SHOW ME YOUR WHORES.. WHERE’S YOUR WOMEN”. blah blah blah..
ps fuck billy mays. he’s useless to everyone. he’s a fucking pitchman to sell people shit. great. real hero.
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Another One Bites The Dust…R.I.P. Billy Mays
Posted on June 28, 2009 by Chris Faraone
Now here’s one that nobody saw coming. Billy Mays (of Oxi-Clean and Orange Glo fame) wasn’t frail, nor was he cancer-ridden. The guy wasn’t even old. With a beard like that, we would have guessed he’d outlive all of us here at JTTS combined.
But according to the always-right Fox News, Mays was just found dead in his Tampa home. It’s too bad, as dude clearly has his best work ahead of him - he was recently tapped to be the new Taco Bell spokesman. A sad day indeed.
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Much Love To My Homeboy In The Playas Club Up In The Sky
Posted on June 28, 2009 by Chris Faraone
This post has nothing to do with Michael Jackson. Nor is it a joke. Also - I’m not ripping on Farrah Fawcett, or anyone else who has recently passed. Lastly, I’m not here to solicit sympathy.
But the unfortunate truth is that my homeboy Jamie Hall died last week. I went down to his wake in New Jersey, and it was one of the saddest experiences of my life.
Don’t worry about how he died (but I appreciate your concern). All that matters is that he’s a funny bastard with a love for Etta James and the (original) Blues Brothers.
He also had mad love for Rappin’ 4-Tay’s “Playas Club” - a track that he put me on to despite his being a preppy Jersey rat and my being someone who’s supposed to know about hip-hop. One love partner. Just work ya toes on the mink rug…
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James Brown, Michael Jackson, Prince - All On Stage Together
Posted on June 27, 2009 by Sleezy Trees
Top 3.
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The Two MJs
Posted on June 26, 2009 by Martín Caballero
Excuse the turn of phrase, but yesterday the rumors just wouldn’t die.
Farah Fawcett died in the morning, Michael Jackson in the afternoon, and by night time my friends and I were studiously trawling Google News search to confirm or deny reports of Jeff Goldblum falling off a 60-foot cliff while filming a movie in New Zealand (he’s alive and still really tall and snarky, we can confirm). Still, that’s two 70s icons down for the count.
In light of all the MJ tributes and specials undoubtedly being rushed through TV production schedules, it’s going to be a busy next few days and weeks of MJ madness, as Faraone/Necro pointed out earlier. In this underpaid music writer’s opinion, there’s no debating his status as a cultural icon and musical pioneer, regardless of the whole kids sleeping over thing. Plenty of other lesser geniuses have done plenty worse when you put it in perspective (see: Allen, Woody) and gotten away with it. But I digress–while there’s no disputing MJ’s game, there is room for debate within that statement. Because there are two Michael Jacksons that are worth listening to: young Michael and really young Michael.
Young Michael should probably begin around Off the Wall and stretch out until he started blending in with piles of snow just after Bad came out. In other words, Michael’s heyday of the Motown 25 special, Thriller, Quincy Jones & Rod Temperton, big tigers and taking Brooke Shields to the Grammys (don’t ask me how I know all this, I was born in 86). Anyone with a pulse has gotten down to tracks from this era, so I’m not going to expound. Young Michael was the artist as god.
Younger Michael though…he was something else. There was something inevitably lost when he found ‘the force’ on ‘Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough;’ mainly the voice of a kid who murked his contemporaries on the mic at age 11 when it came to soul and funk music. Minus all the dance moves, Younger Mike had the voice: bold, instantly recognizable and even though I hate the word, swingin. You could argue that by the sounds of it Mike had bigger balls as a kid then he did circa his falsetto steez on “The Girl is Mine.” It didn’t hurt that he had the Jackson 5 with him providing the tunes either. I think Young MJ was clearly the bigger, better entertainer, but the way Younger MJ commanded a song with his voice and presence at such a young age still kinda blows me away when I hear it.
If given the choice to plug either Young or Younger MJ back into the Matrix, making a decision would be damn near impossible. That’s why this may be the perfect MJ song–somewhere in the middle of the two. The bottom line is that Younger MJ couldn’t stay younger forever, and for a while Young MJ did him justice. But in terms of pure, raw talent, I would have to choose Younger MJ. Who says beating your kids doesn’t work, eh Joe?
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