Greatest country I’ve ever been brainwashed into loving.
Happy 4th of July America.
Thank u for ur founding fathers and ur healthcare mandates.
Thank u for celebrities and professional sports.
Thank u for free speech to blog what I want when I want. Thank u for the internet.
Thank u for my fellow bloggzars: JKFGT, DJ ON&ON, Marty, The Dance, DJ Knife, General Stoor, Yukonn, even Faraone.
Thank u for lacks gun laws and bi partisan political gridlock.
Thank u for Ron Paul’s libertarian ideology.
Thank u for Obama’s blackness.
Thank u for elite liberal media bias.
Thank u for rap music, trap music, gutter music, dirty south, lean, crack, coke, booze, whores, sluts, vices of all kinds, including blogging and twitters (@slztrz), and for allowing me to be me and be free.
Thank u for paying welfare to help DJ ON&ON survive.
Thank u for all your social injustices that make the tapestry of American life so enchanting to Mexicans who want to come here illegally and take our jobs like our grandparents did to the earlier settlers before them, but obviously we are more entitled because we were european settlers and not Mexicans.
Thank u for Mitt Romney’s vague stance on every political issue.
Thank u lady liberty for killing osama bin laden and all his arabs that try to hurt me every day.
Thank u for Occupy Wall Street which was successful and allowed us to not have to pay our student loans and allows my children a free college education that all Americans will pay for via higher taxes and fees on government programs.
This is America. This is freedom.
I am going to chew on some lit fireworks right now and see if I can celebrate all of your special qualities.