Need Menino To Fix Your Neighborhood? Sheeeeeet.. All You Need Is A Dead Senator And A Visit From Obama…
Posted on August 27, 2009 by Sleezy Trees
Don’t get me wrong. I like Menino. I think he’s done a great job on installing bike paths, shipping the homeless and meth addicts to wherever Giuliani sent them (hell/prison?), and having some pretty damn sweet outdoor hip hop festivals.. I do fault him for a few things, for instance he’s done a horrific job on the transportation infastructure outside of downtown.. (The roads in JP and Allston might as well be a scale model of the lunar surface). But, gentrefication is more or less his fucking strong suit.
And yes.. it’s true.. I hate yuppies. I hate liberal pussies in JP with their fucking 10,000 bumper stickers and their dogs. I hate people that pay over $2.00 for a cup of fucking coffee. I hate buying a $5.99 quart of fucking organic lemonade from City Feed because the Tedeschi’s is sold out of the $1.99 Garelick Farms brand.. I hate being woken up every day because the two shithole apartments next to my shithole apartment are being converted into multi-million dollar condos.
But honestly, I would rather have Yuppies around than live in a shithole town/neighborhood. I like landscaped lawns. I like not having my car broken into. I like not having to stare at shitty graffiti and half peeled off “.357 Phinelia” and “Loose Notes” stickers. I like knowing that the homeless in my hood are courteous, down to earth hipsters who are secretly rich.
Anyway.. when gentrification happens, and I hate to admit this.. it means less ugly shit for me to have to deal with and more clean cut faggotry for me to simply ignore. I like not having to deal with the ramifications of criminal behavior or blight. And 99% of graffiti is wack. There I said it. Your little tags, your fucking throw-ups, your “fame”. Go fuck yourself. Unless you’re doing some Scribble Jam quality burner on my front porch you can die slow. Your hobby is more or less useless to my day to day existence. And yes, fuck me for freely admitting this on a “hip hop blog”. Maybe I’m being gentrified myself. Whatever.
So back to my o.g. point. I was driving through Mission Hill today and there is a shit storm happening there right now. If you’ve ever been to Mission Hill.. you know it’s a shithole. A beautiful shithole of shit. Well, Obama is going there on Saturday. Ted Kennedy’s funeral is going to be taking place and the Obamapacolypse is giving the eulogy.
Menino is not fucking around.
Sidewalks getting repaired, landscaping done seemingly overnight. Fresh coats of paint on buildings.. Fuck.. they are even painting the lightpoles and mailboxes.
So this is what it takes in 2009 for a neighborhood revitalization. Gone are the days of a booming housing market. You need Obama to praise a murdering, corrupt, rich, white dead Kennedy and two years worth of revitalization will go down over night.
I wonder how much the city is spending on this charade. Oh wait.. it’s probably just bailout money anyway.
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