I Wish I Could Quit You (North Carolina Recap / Fading Recollection)

Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

The last thing I remember was “JTTS’s esteemed CEO” Treez, throwing every piece of patio furniture into a random pool. I was pre-black out doing cannonballs when I noticed a small blurry figure of a security guard running towards us. I poorly hopped a fence, landed on my knee and took off through the woods. 2 grown-ass men acting like children.

Trees&Knife

(more…)


Week Old Memorial Day Weekend Recap

Friday, May 31st, 2013

How did you celebrate Memorial Day? Let me guess – a BBQ? A concert on City Hall Plaza in Boston? Getting drunk at a bar? – admittedly all of those things sound like fun, but let me tell you how I celebrate our nation’s fallen heroes..

The only way I know how: shooting guns, conquering nature, getting black out wasted at NASCAR, scoring pussy.

(more…)


Danny Brown On Some Serious G Shit

Tuesday, April 30th, 2013

Is anyone impressed by anything these days? I mean really… I feel like I have already seen it all because of the internet, but for what it’s worth – getting a sick blowie from a groupie whilst performing on stage is probably the biggest G move of 2013.

Props to Daniel Brown.


A Moment In JTTS History: SH*T SHOW Episode 7

Friday, April 12th, 2013

For once in the history of the universe, DJ ON&ON was on top of life, while Sleezy Trees hit rock bottom.

After I was done hosting an A.Z.  show, Trees saunters into the club as it’s closing down and demands drinks at the bar.

I identify my friend is in trouble, and do what any concerned friend would…exploit his pain and anguish on a radio show for the world’s entertainment.

ON and Trees head to Clear Channel headquarters to record a drunken emotional perfect storm of a psychiatry session called SHIT SHOW Episode 7.

In all fairness, Trees has rebounded incredibly since this show, landing a high profile corporate job, and settling down in exotic East Bumfuck North Carolina.

Nevertheless, savor this moment in radio history when things were much simpler.

 


Do You Have 15 Minutes to Listen to Snoop Talk About Pimping and Taylor Swift and Freestyle Over Dam-Funk With Suga Free? [Video]

Thursday, April 4th, 2013

If so, your reward awaits. I’m gonna stop interviewing people, because I’ll never be able to top this. From Passion of the Weiss.


The Only Exciting Moment of the BCS Last Night

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

Brent Musberger going literally h.a.m. over Alabama QB AJ McCarron’s GF.

BTW – AJ McCarron was also rumored to have smashed Kate Upton.


Pop The Molly I’m Sweatin’

Monday, January 7th, 2013

Is Trinidad James the first dude to take something from white culture and steal it for the blacks?  You know I’m talkin about that Molly.

Now, blacks usually are the trendsetters for us whites.  It’s always the other way around with us whites leeching off black culture. (My wigger pic below is a prime example of that). But Molly has been around at Phish concerts for years now.. (we used to call it MDMA). Just recently are blacks using it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the last thing blacks stole from us whites was the internet. And you see how that turned out? (Amazing).

I’m thinking we might have a serious issue on our hands with the Molly shit. Just look at how it affected my old apartment when I brought a bag back for New Yurrs.

That’s some Thizz face shit if I ever seen bout it. Granted.. no one there is black, but these are all whites that are easily influenced by black culture. It’s almost the full circle effect. They would never do Molly if Mumford and Sons were strumming about it on a guitar, but now, it’s the new crack (literally!).

Watch next year when Weezy or Based God starts rappin’ about heroin and bath salts.. we in for it.

We already have shirtless whites popping up on the radar.. a sure sign of the Chief Keef “shirtless black“ phenomenon from 2012.


Deep Thoughts By Jack Handy

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

I can’t really compete with Treez or On&On’s stories unless I’m getting mugged by tweens, but since I paid my $80 to help “de-AIDS” this site, Im compelled to write something. Something concerning my new Treez-less life and to let people know JTTS still exists. If there were a single “No Homo” key on my keypad, I would breeze through this piece in half the time. After 7 long years, my common law marriage to Rob Reilly has ended.

No more dudes night out. No more picking him up from jail. No more loud sleep apnea snores rumbling down the hallway. No more us seeing each other covered in blood (NH) from various forgotten debauchery. Our path to manchild-hood is now a separate, lonely trail through life (NH).

The first thing I noticed upon his departure are all the things that I’ve inherited from this situation. All the crap that you suddenly realize is yours when a longtime roommate leaves you. Like this stuff here:

See anything you like? Could be for sale. The second thing I realized is I’m old as hell. My household is now made up of young, fashionable whipper-snappers (NH) in their early 20s. My girlfriend recently told me she’s had the same phone number since sixth grade. JKFGT corrects my spelling of PVRPLE and sends me rap music I’ve never heard of. Jokes fall on deaf ears.  Star Wars is something they may get around to watching at some point. The list goes on.

And there you have it. My youth was fun while it lasted, but everything comes to an end eventually. Guess you’ll see me swinging from the ceiling fan soon. (BTW this is a desperate cry for help)…..sooooo……yeah……cool story bro…

Wishing A. J. Wright was still open.


CATCHING UP WITH BUSHWICK BILL AT THE 2012 GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS

Saturday, August 18th, 2012

BEHOLD. THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH. GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS 2012.

During the festivus, Bushwick Bill built with Three 6 Mafia as Master P left the stage.

A majority of the content is a back and forth circle jerk of compliments and praise, but what caught my attention was a drunk Bushwick participating in an event that is the crown jewel of debauchery off the heels of an attempted career in Christian rap.

Would Mason Betha cavort with thousands of pill-popping, Vodka drinking, Pagan loving, unsafe sex having Caucasians who smell like months of unwashed wet dog?

In this video, we also get to meet Bushwick’s manager/daughter, who booked her dad for this gig.

Peep when Bushwick was all bout rappin for the Lawd.


H.W.A. – BAD LIL HOES (VIDEO)

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Here’s a change of pace…some heterosexual-friendly rap music embracing the good ol’ days of objectifying women. That Prodigy gay shit still got me fukt up.

This video is brought to you by the awful folks at Chick-Fil-A. Leggo.


Cannibal Swag

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012

While most were out grilling on their porch for Memorial Day, these guys were just straight up eating people.

First was Rudy Eugene. It’s a long way to rock bottom, but I guess hit it on Saturday when police responded to an eyewitness who saw him eating another man’s face near the MacArthur Causeway in Miami.

Police, responding to a call about two naked men fighting on a bike path, found Eugene ripping off pieces of flesh off the other guy’s face. They tried to get him off but he growled at them and continued eating. The officer shot him once, but apparently it had no effect and he fired off at least six shots before the guy died.

The victim’s whole face was ripped apart and he’s in the hospital but the hospital is apparently not releasing any information about him.

The local news is reporting that Eugene ate the man’s nose and his eyeballs while tripping on LSD and he was body temperature was skyrocketing because of it, hence him being stripped down.

Surveillance camera footage only shows two pairs of naked legs lying next to each other by the freeway with the bridge obstructing full view.

LSD that turns people into flesh-eating zombies? Or is that just a convenient excuse for something more sinister? Makes you want to watch X-Files reruns or play Resident Evil.

Meanwhile, in Japan…

(more…)


Hey Birdman… Put Down The Skittles, And Walk Away From The Playground.

Friday, May 11th, 2012

The Denver Nuggets excused Chris Anderson from team activities while he is investigated for possible Internet crimes against children.

WTF? Aren’t you able to do things easier when you’re a millionaire pedophile? Can’t he just fly to Thailand and buy a couple boys to keep in his basement?

And when you heard Birdman was a skinner…didn’t you expect this guy?

Instead of this guy?


JUDGE WADE McCREE PROVES IT’S COLD IN THE D.

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

Judge Wade Mccree wins the “Settin Niggas Back 50 Years Award” O’ The Week much to the delight of Detroit’s Fox News. His honor is out chea sexting bishez and finds nothing wrong with it.

It’s Cold In Teh D.

.