It was all good just A week ago, Sunday started pretty typically in the Big Easy. Jazz cigarettes were lit in Louis Armstrong Park. Moms across the city were being treated to breakfast in bed or brunch out at their favorite cafe. Somewhere, a dude was puffing an L with The Meters or Mystikal as the soundtrack. In my head, I picture Steve Zahn’s character from Treme waking up to heaping plate of Cajun Benedict, “Shake Ya Ass” and a baseball-bat spliff.

The Original Big 7 Social Aid and Pleasure Club, a local organization that puts on “second-Line” brass parades, was prepping for a Mother’s Day throwdown—a ritual done each year. Nobody thought stray bullets would rain on the parade. A week later, it’s barely a footnote in the never-ending torrent of news.

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I reached dangerous levels of nerdocity last night, as I was in my glory glued to C-Span watching The White House Correspondent’s Dinner.

For those from Brockton, it’s the annual White House roast session where all of media comes together to basically watch a roast.

Bill O’reilley, Tavis Smiley, and Arianna Huffington all in the same room getting shit on.

I literally lol’d throughout Obama and Conan’s routines.

Light one up and N.T.F.O. (Nerd The Fuck Out)

Barry came out to “All I Do Is Win” and set shit off with a rap joke. Crack.

If so, your reward awaits. I’m gonna stop interviewing people, because I’ll never be able to top this. From Passion of the Weiss.

Michael Jordan’s jumper over Bryon Russell in Game Six.

Ray Lewis leading the Ravens to Super Bowl victory.

Jimmy McNulty looking out on the city of Baltimore.

All really cool, dramatic ways to go out–opposed to, say, a press conference at Faneuil Hall.

But it is happening: Hizzoner is announcing the end of his 20-year reign there this afternoon.

There have been many dramatic exits over the years, but Big Tommy’s announcement that he will not seek re-election this November is huge and will have major repercussions for the next decade to come.

– With new candidates on the scene, Chris Faraone will be re-energized to dig deep into their personal and professional lives for the one time they helped an old lady cross the street who was actually a racist, Jew-hating bitch, which vis-a-vis makes said candidate a Nazi and gets him the cover story of Liberal Chest Thumpers monthly.

– From his new home in NC, a deeply conflicted Trees will find himself suddenly paralyzed with fear and self-doubt, alternately slamming his former Mayor and then wistfully reminiscing about the “good old days” when he would write poasts titled “Need Menino To Fix Your Neighborhood? Sheeeeeet.. All You Need Is A Dead Senator And A Visit From Obama…”

– Months from now, on the eve of the November election, Jeremy will be stunned to hear the news that Menino is not running, which he happened to catch in the background on TV while switching playlists from his “PRPL LEAN SWEATER RAPS” to “You’re the Only One Who Understands Me” playlist on his iPod.

– Knife and ON&ON put plans in motion for MENINO RAVE 2013, now with foolproof coffin resurrection and moar glo-sticks.

– Our new mayor turns out to be a huge JTTS fan and begins a independent investigation into Boston Boy’s iTunes record sales.

Whatever the case may be, I was seven years old and living in Maryland when Mumbles first took office, so I have no idea how to properly frame his impact on the city, not knowing what is was then compared to now (less Dunkin Donuts, I imagine).

Like Master P said, there dey go.

BONUS JTTS MENINO CVRGE 

KANYE SAID GEORGE BUSH DON’T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE. STATIK SELEKTAH SAID MENINO DON’T LIKE HIP-HOP.

Menino Curses Celtics

Future Boston Alliance Take Aims at Menino’s Status Quo

Oh hey guys.

I didn’t go anywhere. I was just taking the world’s longest shower.

Then I saw this.

The video starts by getting into the mind of a young man: “So you think you look pretty cool wearing your pants like that, don’t you?” asks a voice, as two pretty cool looking black teenagers walk down the street, jeans sagging below the waist line, presumably on their way to disrespect someone’s community. According to the voice, this plague on our city’s streets is called wearing your jeans “hip-hop style”; to stoke your disgust at this unholy scourge, the producers use a “Hip-Hop” beat direct from their Casio keyboard as the background music. It’s all part of a calculated effort to get your attention; after some 30-odd years of ignoring the problem, it’s time to confront the issue head-on, and for that battle, a respected voice of authority would have to get involved. And in hip-hop, no figure commands greater respect than a police officer.

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Remember Hurricane Sandy.. ? It was a big storm that crashed into New Jersey waaaaayyy back in 2012. Well, one of the damages from that storm was this roller coaster. Somehow it was blown into the ocean or some shit and now it’s the face of Hurricane Sandy’s damage blah blah blah..

Well, some dude climbed it and planted an American flag at the top of roller coaster. Why did he do it? To raise continued awareness for the victims of Hurricane Sandy.. That storm that we all forgot about.

Anyway, whatever. He climbed it. He put a flag up there.. Cool.

Well.. I guess that’s a crime in America now, because he was promptly arrested when he climbed down. Yup. They arrested this motherfucker for climbing a roller coaster submerged in the ocean and putting an American flag up there. Not only that, but he was wearing a helmet cam or GoPro or something and the cops smashed it on the ground.

This is your America, not mine.

Alex Jones is about 50% nutjob conspiracy theorist, but you can’t argue that he buried Piers Morgan in this debate. Yikes!

ALEX JONES: We did it as a way to bring attention to the fact that we have all of these foreigners, and the Russian government, the official Chinese government — Mao said political power goes out of the barrel of a gun, he killed about 80 million people because he’s the only guy who had the guns — so we did it to point out that this is globalism, and the mega banks that control the planet and brag they have taken over — in Bloomberg, AP, Reuters, you name it — brag that they’re going to get our guns as well. They’ve taken everybody’s guns, but the Swiss and the American people and when they get our guns, they can have their world tyranny while the government buys 1.6 billion bullets, armored vehicles, tanks, helicopters, predator drones, armed now in U.S. skies, being used to arrest people in North Dakota.

The Second Amendment isn’t there for duck hunting. It’s there to protect us from tyrannical government and street thugs. Take the woman in india, your piece earlier on CNN earlier, I was watching during Anderson Cooper’s show, didn’t tell you the women of India have signed giant petitions to get firearms because the police can’t and won’t protect them.

Te answer is — wait a minute, I have FBI crime statistics that come out of a year late, 2011, 20-plus percent crime drop in the last nine years, real violent crime because more guns means less crime. Britain took the guns 15, 16 years ago. Tripling of your overall violent crime. True, we have a higher gun violence level, but overall, muggings, stabbing, deaths — those men raped that woman to India to death with an iron rod 4 feet long. You can’t ban the iron rods. The guns, the iron rods, Piers, didn’t do it, the tyrants did it. Hitler took the guns Stalin took the guns, Mao took the guns, Fidel Castro took the guns, Hugo Chavez took the guns, and I’m here to tell you, 1776 will commence again if you try to take our firearms! It doesn’t matter how many lemmings you get out there in the street begging for them to have their guns taken. We will not relinquish them. Do you understand?

Please play this song as you read my post.

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Okay.. so everyone is now trying to take away our guns.
I’m not cool with that.

If my son or daughter got shot, I’d be saying the same thing. Making guns illegal is not going to stop people from shooting people the same way making drugs illegal hasn’t stopped people from using drugs.

Here is the thing – guns will still be produced. They will be manufactured here or in other countries.. it doesn’t matter.

Let me put it this way. Are bombs legal? Can you walk into a bomb store and buy one? Nooo.. That doesn’t stop people from making them and blowing shit up.

The issue here is mental health, plain and simple. Normal people do not walk into schools and gun down kids.

I just hate this fucking knee-jerk reaction to tragedy in America. Motherfuckers are so quick to give up their rights after something bad happens. After 9-11 we got the Patriot act, Guantanamo, and NDAA – all of which are still legal and in existence and not going away.

Now they are trying to take away our guns.

I also think it’s fucking hilarious that people are so quick to dismiss the notion that if the teachers had a gun in their desk they could have prevented the tragedy. You know what..? That shit makes a lot of sense to me. They probably could have prevented many of those kids from getting killed..

Arm fucking everyone and I’ll tell you one thing, shit is a lot less likely to pop off. Growing up in Hartford we assumed everyone had a fucking gun, and you know what.. most people did. And I can tell you 2% were purchased legally. We knew not to run our mouths and get into stupid fucking trouble because we would end up dead. People are getting away with these mass shooting sprees in areas where carrying a concealed weapon is not allowed.

Making shit illegal solves nothing. This kid needed counseling and attention from Mommy and Daddy and probably some medication.

People don’t really understand what owning a gun is all about. The underlying existence is protection. They don’t manufacture guns to murder innocents. People pull the fucking trigger. Change the minds of these retards that think murder is cool or a way out or whatever their shitty agenda is. Push the mental health agenda, because crazy is lurking around every cot damn corner these days..

Feel free to debate in the comments sections. I really wrote this blog post in about 2 minutes and was just quickly firing off my thoughts. I’d rather put the energy into the debate below (if there is one, maybe you all agree with me).

Sleezy Trees is a freelance journalist and does not represent the views of JTTS as a whole.

You know, it’s funny Marty – that poast you made the other day had a link to my old poast about eating almonds and toothpaste. I hadn’t read it in a while and when I re-read  some of the replies and you can imagine my chagrin when I saw the following:

I didn’t realize that Faraone was such a staunch advocate for RomneyCare’s state run insurance exchange program..

Pretty self-explanatory stuff here. Chuck Norris and his Fembot companion “Gena” (2012 model) don’t want you to necessarily vote for Mitt Romney, they just want you to vote against plunging our great country into a apocalyptic nightmare future, in which our children will toil in salt mines and cocaine-fueled Cuban refugees swarm our shores in the name of socialism (which is also the plot of Invasion USA…SO REAL).

At the risk of challenging the God, how can we take this foreboding threat seriously when Chuck is too pussy to do another gleefully violent Expendables movie?

There is nothing that has made me more ashamed to claim Boston than this mural..

Disgusting. So soon after 911, when our resolve is at it’s weakest, I have to march into my trusted American born, flag waving financial district and see this terrorist.

I am just so happy that many of Boston’s citizens agree that this mural is jihadist rallying cry, brought on by Obama and his muslims to enslave our thoughts and send our taxpayer dollars overseas, and to take our jobs and put the fag lovers and immigrants that came to steal my healthcare and my guns into our political system.

They settin’ up death camps for our elderly!!!

This isn’t what Jesus and the bible said, he wants us to eat all of our Chik-fil-a in a place where Americans don’t need to see that terrorists are obviously trying to paint murals depicting themselves as people who like sit uncomfortably wearing pajamas for hours at a time. This isn’t the Taliban! This is america!

I’m just happy they didn’t go with their initial design:

Frank Ocean is gay or bi or whatever now. Or he always was.. just now is capitalizing on it.

Lil B is probably next. (Maybe it already happened?)

Then I am assuming the floodgates will open – Sisqo, NE-Yo, Erick Sermon, Mister Cee.. Probably Method Man and Redman..

That begs the question.. Who cares?

I have no problem with gays at all. My life is completely unaffected by who other people sleep with, unless of course they are sleeping with me or my gf..

Do you care? Why? If it’s religious reasons, just know that organized religion is for faggots.

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Greatest country I’ve ever been brainwashed into loving.

Happy 4th of July America.

Thank u for ur founding fathers and ur healthcare mandates.

Thank u for celebrities and professional sports.

Thank u for free speech to blog what I want when I want. Thank u for the internet.

Thank u for my fellow bloggzars: JKFGT, DJ ON&ON, Marty, The Dance, DJ Knife, General Stoor, Yukonn, even Faraone.

Thank u for lacks gun laws and bi partisan political gridlock.

Thank u for Ron Paul’s libertarian ideology.

Thank u for Obama’s blackness.

Thank u for elite liberal media bias.

Thank u for rap music, trap music, gutter music, dirty south, lean, crack, coke, booze, whores, sluts, vices of all kinds, including blogging and twitters (@slztrz), and for allowing me to be me and be free.

Thank u for paying welfare to help DJ ON&ON survive.

Thank u for all your social injustices that make the tapestry of American life so enchanting to Mexicans who want to come here illegally and take our jobs like our grandparents did to the earlier settlers before them, but obviously we are more entitled because we were european settlers and not Mexicans.

Thank u for Mitt Romney’s vague stance on every political issue.

Thank u lady liberty for killing osama bin laden and all his arabs that try to hurt me every day.

Thank u for Occupy Wall Street which was successful and allowed us to not have to pay our student loans and allows my children a free college education that all Americans will pay for via higher taxes and fees on government programs.

This is America. This is freedom.

I am going to chew on some lit fireworks right now and see if I can celebrate all of your special qualities.