How did you celebrate Memorial Day? Let me guess – a BBQ? A concert on City Hall Plaza in Boston? Getting drunk at a bar? – admittedly all of those things sound like fun, but let me tell you how I celebrate our nation’s fallen heroes..
The only way I know how: shooting guns, conquering nature, getting black out wasted at NASCAR, scoring pussy.
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There’s a war goin on outside, no man is safe from
You could run but you can’t hide forever
from these, streets, that we done took
You walkin witcha head down scared to look
You shook, cause ain’t no such things as halfway crooks
They never around when the beef cooks in my part of town
It’s similar to Vietnam…
If you’re friends with me on FB, Twitter, or Instagram – you know I like to brag about places I been and shit I’ve seen. That is why I have a blog. Self glorification. The instant I feel alone in this sad world, I raise a flag on JTTS and say – “Hey everyone, notice me”. And for a few fleeting moments, as the comments and views trickle in, people finally do.
So yesterday, I was in Cleveland. I don’t really want to write a bunch of shit – so I figured I would recap in photo form, with brief captions. I’ll let you fill in the blanks.
Begin..
Had a $200 dinner at a resto called “The Greenhouse” on 4th st. Railed a shitload of Black Label. If you are ever in Cleveland – you MUST eat the wings here. Now I know what you are thinking, “Yeah everyone’s got the best burger, wings, pizza, blah blah blah”, well this place actually does have the best wings I’ve ever tasted. They slow cook them for 12 hours and season them with rosemary and some unidentifiable glaze. The chicken falls off the bone. It’s so fucking good. We also ate a couple trays of “Devils on Horseback” – aka bacon wrapped dates. Pure crack.
No poasts about how boring the NBA all-star game / slam dunk / three point shootout was this year? I’m surprised?
Ladies and gentlemen, the Sleezy Trees Collection, featuring 17 original animations and photos from January to December 2011. Presented out of context for your enjoyment.
Europeans may have none of our own American issues with ass-n-titties in public, but that’s probably because their soft core porn is a bit classier, none more so than in the famous Pirelli calendar. The Italian-based tire company (also sponsors of FC Internazionale Milano…just saying) put out this calendar once a year, featuring a world famous photographer shooting nudes of famous models in exotic settings with a ridiculous budget. Being the unclassy American that I am, upon learning this I just assumed I could go to Amazon and pick up one of these mass-produced flesh spreads for $9.99 plus free shipping. Quite the contrary; only 20,000 copies of the calendar are produced and are given to select people–as in the Sultan of Brunei, the Vatican (..!?!) and the British Royal Family–while the rest of us make do with our Maxim Hot 100 girls…how pedestrian (you can buy one on eBay for the reasonable sum of $999.99). But seeing how the Internet continues to destroy all barriers between the truly rich and those who want to act like they are truly rich, you can check after the jump to see some of the pics from this year’s calendar–featuring Milla Jovovich, Kate Moss, Lara Stone, Isabeli Fontana, Natasha Poly, Saskia de Brauw, Joan Smalls, Guinevere Van Seenus, Malgosia, Edita Vilkevicute, Margareth Made and Rinko Kikuchi, shot by Mario Sorrenti–after the jump. If you have the willpower and iPhoto, you could probably just make your own calendar and print it out. Now that’s classy.
more pics + documentary clip after the jump
