For our Boston readers, this week marks the annual Together Festival. For most JTTS fans that doesn’t mean shit, but there’s def some acts worth checking.

 

 

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This is how it goes down at water coolers everywhere around the country:

“Heeey, so did you hear about those poor girls that were kidnapped?”

“Yeah, yeah…just awful. Those guys were monsters.”

“Yeah, yeah…awful…..So did you see the guy that rescued them?”

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…MMMMMMMMMMM…..GGGGGGGGGG!”

That’s America for you.

A tragedy that grips the nation is overshadowed by the donkey from Shrek.

I’m happy for the brother. Really, I am. But it makes me cringe to think of a nation of little yt suburban kids imitating Charles Ramsey in the lunchroom today.

Oh, the coonery. The SNL skit is being written as we speak. Thousands of Charles Ramsey shirts are being printed. Meme production has increased ten-fold.

CNN trucks have abandoned covering the Marathon Bombers on Boylston Street, and have high tailed it to Charles Ramsey’s hood.

Three girls raped and tortured for a decade, and a star is born.

Stay classy, America.

AraabMuzik was apparently shot in the back, and is recovering in a Rhode Island hospital.

Conflicting reports range from an attempted robbery (the kid is known to rock some expensive jewelry) to being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

JTTS comment section regular, Mr. Murph is from them parts…perhaps Murph can fill us in on what the streets are talmbout.

Get well Araab!

BOSTON: The Houston legend, OG Ron C, will be spinning at #PVRPLE tonight along with Jack Dice, Yvng Amen, & DJ Knife! | Good Life Bar | 5.2.13 | $5 | Fuck the haters. Come get weird with me.

I’m 38 years old. I’ve weathered the deep dark valleys, and sunshine filled mountain tops of romance with the opposite gender time and time again.

Admittedly, when it comes to relationships, I’ve embarked on some clear cut suicide missions. Signed up for 3-5 year bids with some of Boston’s most unsavory life partner candidates.

Thick thighs, a bottomless tight pussy, and a penchant for cheap Vodka being my main criterion in wifing a chick…I can see where I’ve set my standards a little low.

Mother, if you’re reading this…please stop, and pick up The Economist. Jesus Christ.

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Special guest DJ Scratch:

 

Brand new music from Styles P. Happy 420.

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Suspect #2′s twitter handle is @J_tsar.
Here are a sampling of his tweets.
To be honest, he seems like an all American kid. Crackin jokes, talkin bout girls, conversing with friends…Very hard to believe this type of kid would do this. I thought I’d find a string of militant ass tweets, but he was on some regular 19 year old shit.

Very odd.

Breaking Bad taught me how to dispose of a corpse

— Jahar (@J_tsar) January 16, 2013

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Went to Cambridge Rindge & Latin. Boxer. Apparently shopped at Zara on Newbury Street.

From deadspin.com

Tamerlan Tsarnaev was 26 and a competitive boxer for a club named Team Lowell, who won the Rocky Marciano Trophy for being New England Golden Gloves heavyweight champion in 2010.

He did this while taking time off from school at Bunker Hill Community College, where he studied in hopes of being an engineer.

We know he had a YouTube profile, where he created a playlist dedicated to terrorism.

The photo gallery features his girlfriend at the time, and the caption reads:

Tamerlan says his girlfriend is half Portuguese, half Italian girlfriend and converted to Islam: “She’s beautiful, man!”

Tamerlan says he doesn’t drink or smoke anymore:

“God said no alcohol.” A muslim, he says: “There are no values anymore,” and worries that “people can’t control themselves.”

Tamerlan says he doesn’t usually take his shirt off so girls don’t get bad ideas: “I’m very religious.”

Tamerlan says he loves the movie “Borat,” even though some of the jokes are a bit too much.

If he wins enough fights there, Tamerlan says he could be selected for the US Olympic team and be naturalized American.

Unless his native Chechnya becomes independent, Tamerlan says he would rather compete for the United States than for Russia.

She’s erratic, over emotional, a compulsive liar, on drugs, and has daddy issues that effect poor decisions in the men she gets involved with….but enough about every girl I end up dating, let’s talk about Erica Mena.

Meet her in person at Frugal Books in the Washington Square Mall.

Her career gotta go uphill from here.

Omigosh omigosh omigosh.

So a new Ray J song leaked that is arguably the most juvenile, cheesy, awful joint released in the last 5 years.
“I Hit It First” is a song aimed at Kimye, reminding them and the world that Ray J indeed, hit it first….and I thought I was bitter.

Some of the lyrics:

“She might move on to rappers and ballplayers
But we all know I hit it first.

I had her head going North and her ass going South
But now baby chose to go West

No matter where she goes or who she knows
She still belongs in my bed.”

Like reading JTTS, it’s so terrible it’s almost good.

Master Of The Mix is a convoluted, inaccurate charade of dj culture and skills. There is one worthy judge on the panel, and a majority of the “contestants” on the show are your average run of the mill marginally skilled local ass dj’s.

With that said, I don’t even know what “Deejaying” means any more.

Technology has made this once definable craft into a big subjective mish mosh of laptop trickery.

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