Faraone’s New Book “I Killed Breitbart” Is Now Available. Buy It Bitches!

Monday, November 11th, 2013

Former JTTS blogger Chris Faraone is now on his third book since leaving this blog and abandoning his aspirations of writing about hip hop in lieu of covering politics with a far left leaning skew.

In order to make this completely about me (which it should given the evidence) – please reference this poast where I gave Faraone the idea for his Breitbart book:  LINK

Also please reference this poast where I give him the idea to cover Occupy and basically changed his life forever: LINK

Basically, if you support this book – you’re supporting me – so please buy Chris Faraone’s new book. Description available below:

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I’m In A Glass Case Of Emotion

Monday, November 4th, 2013

As the seven of you JTTS readers know, I have faced many driving-related woes over the years.

Numerous run-ins with the law and financial instability contributed to me being license-less for the past decade or so.

I remedied my transportation deficiencies with copping two scooters – one of which was crashed by a former lover, the other which landed me in the hospital with a broken foot.

Tired of subjecting myself to a life of being coughed on by #32 bus passengers, I vowed to earn my license back.

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Flying Lotus Takes Over GTA V Airwaves

Thursday, September 26th, 2013

Grand Theft Auto V is already getting that Avatar money. Last week when the game dropped, it instantly made a sonic book on pop culture, from Shaolin to Singapore. It broke the $1 billion mark after just three days. Clearly, James Cameron is in the wrong business.

Beyond the gameplay and magnetic sleaz of the series, the soundtrack has always been as important as the story. From coked out New Wave in Vice City to gritty boom-bap in Liberty City, the tunes match the mood of the environment. GTA5 is set in a world that resembles Los Angeles, but isn’t exactly LA—there’s parts of Vegas, SoCal and NorCal. The Flying Lotus station—FlyLo FM—is as eclectic as the space between the desert and the mountains, the whores and Cripped up Capos.

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Manning Brothers > Riff Raff

Wednesday, August 7th, 2013


Fat Joe Had An Accountant Whose Son Got In An Accident And Is Now A Parapalegic…Soooo That’s Why He Didn’t Pay Taxes And Is Facing A Bid

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

In this episode of “The IRS Sonning Rappers”, we catch up with Fat Joseph, who explains how he got to the point of facing a short bid due to racking up a $2 Million tab at Uncle Sam’s Pub.

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Rappers and Cereal

Friday, August 2nd, 2013

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80′s Video Game Commercials

Sunday, July 21st, 2013

I’m so fucking old. I remember seeing most of these commercials on tv when I was 8.


Pharoahe Monch Cashing Salad Checks

Monday, July 8th, 2013

Couldn’t happen to a better guy.

After losing his shirt on Simon Says years ago, Monchichi has cashed in on some of his music in a big way.

His 2007 joint, “Desire”, is featured in this comersh for Carl’s Jr.

Precious American capitalism…the only place Jenny Mccarthy, Pharoahe Monch, and a Cranberry Apple Walnut Grilled Chicken salad can seamlessly co-exist.


Sean Price Pawns A Potato

Friday, June 28th, 2013


Abercrombie Meme = Free Advertising For Amazing Marketing

Thursday, May 9th, 2013

Ok – you are fat.
You are ugly.
You are not welcome at Abercrombie and Fitch.

Well at least according to the following meme – which admittedly kinda twists dude’s words… but..

The CEO was recently quoted as saying the following:

I think this is downright genius. Let’s look at the tactic:

Step 1) Call out fat people for being fat and ugly and not worthy of wearing Abercrombie + Fitch clothing.
Step 2) Get them to make your quote a viral sensation.
Step 3) ????
Step 4) Profit

I mean seriously – fat and ugly people are now boycotting Abercrombie in droves, which doesn’t really concern the CEO, he wants them gone anyway. The consumers that still wear Abercrombie + Fitch (You FGTs know who you are), think they are part of a special / elite good looking popular club now and will be more loyal than ever. Sheeeeeet, some people who are ugly and THINK they are hot don’t want to be lumped in with the unpopular kids and are probably more likely to start wearing Abercrombie like a badge of honor, like “Oh hey Chad – check out my hot new slim fit Abercrombie V Neck sweater. Look how snug it fits me. I guess I’m not so ugly after all? Right Chad? Right? Wanna finger me in the stairs to the retard wing after gym class?”.

This brings me to another point. If you’re ugly – ok I get it, you were born that way. Shit, I am no prize, I accept it.

If you’re fat – fucking hit the gym and eat right. Being fat is not a disease. It’s the same as addiction. You need to want to change. You need to want to work towards a goal. Getting slim. Getting sober. It’s all the same shit.

Stop being fat America. It’s not that hard, eat right and get off your ass. Simple. If you want to wear Abercrombie so bad, (first of all kill yourself), lose weight. Boom. You’ve got yourself a brand new $90 pair of distressed, pre faded/washed/ ripped/ stained jeans.

 


Poor Yt’s Guide To Wine

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

I’ve got nothin to talk about so I’m gonna write about wine to meet my jtts deadline.

It’s no secret I love me some red wine. JK-3PO and Treez can attest to this. I’ll probably be a red wine drinker from now until I die.

In a way I see it kind of as a progression. As a yung yt male, most of us start by sippin a beer. Then as an adolescent / pre-teen, you try hard liquor. Vodka, Peppermint Schnapps, Sambuca…fill the bottle up with water so someone’s parents don’t know and spend the next morning puking, wanting to die. Malt liquor’s introduced later on. Then one day you realize the money saved buying (or having someone buy you) a Colt 45 isn’t worth the next day’s hangover.

Keggers, ice luges, the spins, blackouts, bars, shots, years of shit beers and debauchery…… then eventually at some point it’s wine time.

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Get Ready for The Beastie Book

Monday, April 29th, 2013

It’s true: white people love coffee table books. There’s nothing better than sipping your coffee from your coffee table lazily flipping through your coffee table book, which accomplishes the task of making you look really cool and smart for doing nothing better than staring at mostly big color photos and skimming some text you’ll soon forget. It’s hipster-ness defined.

And what group could be better at bringing a wry smile to the face of the aging hipster at their coffee tables than this news: the surviving Beastie Boys (Ad-Rock and Mike D) have just signed a deal with Random House for a book “celebrating their history and aesthetic,” according to the New York Times.

What we know is this: former ego trip editor Sacha Jenkins will oversee the project (released by subdivision Spiegel & Grau, of Jay-Z “Decoded” fame), and it will be a loose oral history of the group with contributions from other writers, something more of a “multidimensional experience” than a straight memoir (perhaps like the short-lived Grand Royal mag, they say). Oh, and lot’s of pictures.

What we don’t know: much else, as it’s slated for 2015. Start shopping for that perfect coffee table now.

 


Cam’ron Socks

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013