Shit’s gotten a lil b soft around here the last few days. Trees concerned about kittens, BBB and Stoor discussing feelings, Knife victimized by a 7th grade homeroom class… Man up my ninjas! Here go an hour of Sean P.
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She’s Chinese/Vietnamese. Tatted up. Raps. Takes foot long L’s to the face. Blessed with the dicksuckinnest lips this side of Super 88, I give you, Cachet Tuyet Lu.
With over 361 Comments and counting .. My DMX Post from two years ago keeps delivering a pure stream of American retard right down my weathered brain stem. I mean, not only do we have teens debating their “best rappers alive” lists without any possibility for a resolution, but the post itself doesn’t even reference the best rappers alive! The poast, well, it’s about mother fucking DMX. DMX. Not who’s the best rapper.. fucking DMX.
So every time I log in to JTTS, I have to approve another 5 comments from retards referencing retarded shit and lists like it matter:
For instance — Could this be the gayest joke / comment ever typed on JTTS:
There are some amazing rappers but only one man will rise above the others.Hitler, Justin? Bieber & Eminem went to hell.
They met the Devil sitting on his throne, He asks them why they’re in hell.
Hitler: I killed 20 million poeple? & caused a holocaust? on the Jewish population.
Devil:? Good, good. Sit to my right.
Bieber: I poisned the? world of? music with my little faggy voice that irritates every normal person in the world.
Devil: You’re such a? asshole. Well done, sit to my left. *Looks? at? Eminem*
And why are you here?
Eminem:? Get off my throne bitch
How about this one:
“k guys im new to rap and never have listened to tupac or biggie but im gonna put them # 1 anyway out of respect but my 1 question is how could so many of you leave t.i. out of your top 10 heres what i think it should be please feel free to say what u want #1. the notorious big #2 tupac #3 t.i. #4. jay z (i dnt like him but he was once the best) #.5 eminem #6. nas #7. ll cool j ( one of the very first rappers) #8 snoop dog ( has been rapping strong for about 20 years thats hard) #9 dr.dre mainly for producing #10. dmx ( sorry should be higher but never listened to them sorta new to rap”
or this..
U guys r fucking retard eminem should be first in every list cause he dose not rap about getting puss and smoking weed like lil wayne he raps about his life what he went through #1 free styler he will roch ur shit nigga rember eminem going down in history for being the first white nigga and being the best rapper to ever rap.
you heard it here first or second …Eric B. & Rakim have been nominated for the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame.
The Godbody himself and the guy he’s not down with “no more” are up against the Beastie Boys (their 3rd time being nominated) and Guns N’ Roses among others. The only other Hip-Hop heads to have gotten in so far were Run DMC and Flash w/ the Furious 5. Thee only other nominees have been LL and Africa Baambatta. Not sure they’ll make it if Africa Bam didn’t but we’ll see how these crusty old white men work it out in 2012.
They got my vote….i mean anybody who rips off someone’s “bug” and starts rappin into it and then goes for a straight razor shave while rappin in a video is down in my book
As I’ve said before, we get at least a dozen shitheads a week leaving comments about their Top 10 – as if anyone gives a shit. This one is particularly funny. Dude calls himself “Deity x,” and writes as if he’s delivering a Shakespearean sonnet…
Here goes (highlights mine):
This is simply my opinion.
1. Eminem
2. Nas
3. 2Pac
4. Dr. Dre
5. Jay-Z
6. B.I.G
7. Rakim
8. Easy-E
9. Snoop Dogg
10. Ice Cube
Best rapper in 10 years – Tyler, the creator.
P.S. Marshall Mathers is the greatest lyricist the world has ever seen, and will ever see. His flow, story-telling, lyrics and attitude are unmatched in my opinion. there will never be a more misunderstood and unashamed man at the top of their genre/game. Fact. Why? name me another rapper who could release the song ‘Kim’ and not be ridiculed for the raw emotion. in the macho world that is the ‘rap game’, Eminem continues to write emotional, hard and dirty songs about his clearly distressing life yet also can rap purely for fun better than anyone.
And just for the record, Lil Wayne is the worst rapper ever, if you can even call him a rapper.
Deity x
Every now and then when I check the message filter to see who we’re censoring and who’s getting through, I’ll find a few comments about our temporarily-closed-for-re-modeling 100 Greatest Rappers of All-Time series. While this is an exercise that’s currently on pause, it’s hilarious to see jerkoffs come through with their own know-nothing lists.
This one below is pretty hilarious – namely in how he has groups listed, in how Coolio made the cut, and how these are clearly the only 20 hip-hop acts he’s ever heard of. Nonetheless, the kid was arrogant enough to throw his 20 cents in the tip jar. According to shithead, “this is d real list with real playaz”…
1 Tupac shakur
2 Big Daddy Kane
3 Warren -G
4 Snoop Dogg
5 Rakim
6 Eminem
7 Nas
8 N.W.A
9 Public Enemy
10 Biggie
11 Immortal technique
12 T.I
13 The Roots
14 Wu Tan Clan
15 Talib Kweli
16 Coolio
17 Jay Z
18 Nate Dogg
19 Brother Ali
20 Bone Thugs n Harmony
P.S. – I know you’re going to leave your own lists anyway, but please don’t.
They’re probably fucking awful.
One hurdle that we’ll surely collide with in composing our exalted list of hip-hop greats is where, if, and how many Boston rap artists belong. No doubt we’re partial around here – after all, we’ve collectively been propping this scene for decades – but that shouldn’t cloud judgment.
Nonetheless; Lif should be here whether the arbiters are from Boston, Brooklyn, or Botswana. In fact, I bet that many of the obvious greats – from Chuck D and KRS to Kweli and Black Thought – would agree that the Bean’s premier rap intellectual deserves this honor.
When the underground slid into uncharted (and often retarded) abstract territories a decade ago, Lif was one of the few up-and-gunners who actually made sense. Sure – at times you needed a grip of Adderall to untangle his metaphors – but there was substance underneath the spit.
Moving on…as the political landscape in this country became increasingly crooked, Lif didn’t just drop “Fuck Bush” rhymes. He contemplated and read enough to address issues on resoundingly mature wavelengths; “Brothaz” is a heroic post-Katrina work of socio-political criticism to say the least.
On top of his big words, Lif is more than just a reliable performer. All these years into his career, he’s still excited to bust long, raw freestyles for fans. All in all, the dude packs a righteous combination of old school ethics and new school aesthetics – a deadly mixture bound to land any rapper on this illustrious roster.
In case you haven’t noticed, it’s taken quite some time to determine who would be next inducted into our legendarily selective Greatest Rappers of All-Time Hall of Fame. I actually wanted to throw down Noreaga last week, but he was supposed to rock in Boston. Had he performed, dude’s set would have likely been bad enough to make me regret such a post; he didn’t bother showing, though, so here goes…
As I regularly mention on JTTS, I enjoy rappers who make me laugh. That goes for everyone from deliberate clowns like Paul Barman to cats like N.O.R.E. who bring already-funny personas far enough past the status quo that virtually every line becomes hilarious. Case in point: “I smoke cigarettes, and my breath smell like weed / And got my little brother head at a party at Speed.”
Like so many rappers on this list, Noreaga’s track record is flawed. Melvin Flynt Da Hustler is possibly one of the most disappointing hip-hop efforts ever, but it’s not bad enough to erase all the good this dude has done. He imagineered new words like “Yelzabub;” he re-named LeFrak “Irak;” he called getting locked up “going abroad.” Sure, he afterward did some awful reggaeton crap, but N.O.R.E. was an integral force in my most beloved hip-hop era. And he rocked the shit out of the only fresh Neptunes beat ever.
Through my keyboard, the words of DJ Knife are ressurrected. He lives! And he brings us another esteemed entrant into the gilded hall of JTTS glory. The Mulano era begins NOW.
“No surprises here. Mulano’s slight but deadly lisp and bestial prowess has been dominating the mixtape circuit in the Bean since 2000. Dude’s been through it all, from battling snakes, to cats throwing acid at him, to 99 problems with his boo. If you’ve lived in this city for a minute, it’s a right of passage to have copped either True Stories: The Mixtape Vol. 1 or Vol. 2 . DO NOT LET THE SLIM CASE AND LOOSE-LEAF INSERT FOOL YOU!!!! This kid’s got heat. Peep the flames…”
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LISTEN: Kill Myself
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LISTEN: Everybody’s a Snake
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LISTEN: Smut
It’s been tough enough to keep this blog going – let alone regularly continue with recurring features like our 100 Greatest Rappers of All-Time list. But I’m determined to soldier on – and I thought this was the best way to gain quick momentum.
Truthfully, I wasn’t looking forward to assigning any or all of the Wu-Tang members positions on the list anyway. Even though our roster has no particular order, I’d obviously have to deal with the conundrum of whether or not to put, say, Ghostface ahead of Deck, or GZA in front of Masta Killa.
Of course, there’s an argument to be made that not all of them belong here. And I’ll sort of concede that. Still – I thought this would be the best option for effect and convenience. In addition to saluting a great force in hip-hop, we’re also now a quarter done with this massive undertaking.
Lastly, I won’t bore you to tears with vignettes and opinions on why Wu-Tang is the most important collective entity in contemporary hip-hop. That’s obviously how I feel – those of you who need proof can check the literally hundreds of articles that I’ve written on the Clan over the past decade (as well as the back installments of Wu-Tang Wednesdays here on JTTS).
On that note – even if you’re at work – throw a “W” in the sky like you mean it, and rhyme “Triumph” from beginning to end with your sword out. If you’re like me you perform said ritual every morning anyway, but let’s get another rip for this special occasion. Cash Rules Everything Around Me. Jump The Turnstyle. R.I.P. ODB.
Dust was never my drug of choice. As much as I enjoy getting twisted, the sherm threw me so far away from normalcy that I once shat myself on a bad trip. In addition to control issues, I was also born more into the Special K and ecstasy era than I was into the leak years.
I can’t say the same for Kool Keith. Since his days as an Ultramagnetic MC, his style was anchored in an intoxicating need to not just say the opposite of what average cats would say – but to say what nobody on earth would expect to drip from any human’s jawbone. If you said “tomato,” he’d say, “flagella.”
And then there were the beats. Like so many luminaries who came up before we threw parades for producers, he was never given proper dues for his aural innovation (though Keith is partly to blame since he’s given himself credit under more than half-a-dozen aliases). You know those contemporary El-P beats that don’t really sound like beats? Keith deserves bundles of props for those lo-fi abstractions.
I’ve interviewed Keith a few times, and he’s one of the strangest, nicest, and most arrogant dudes out there. His persona on record – as far as I can tell – is the way he acts while he’s eating corn flakes at the breakfast table (though I’m not sure if he wears the studded harness, Black Elvis wig, and moon boots).
Above all, Keith is a seismic word machine, and, as far as he’s concerned, all those who have come similar but come after are imposters. That’s not so say he lacks respect for students and contemporaries; his work with the Cenobites, Kutmasta Kurt, Ice-T, and so many others has challenged and surprised at every burn.
Some of Keith’s laments are warranted; half the so-called space rappers who proliferated in the 90s would likely name him as a great influence. As would nerds like me, who used to (and even still) get hella wasted and crack up to Dr. Dooom and such. A diverse list like this wouldn’t be possible without Keith; if he never landed here then half of our favorite rappers would be making weird and awful rock music.
