Tove Lo x Habits [Video]

Sunday, March 31st, 2013

Yes, this is a fgt ass emo jawn….but I’m all about lyricism and authenticity.

The other night, the homey Nodoz kicked me out his crib due to a belligerantly drunken (albeit righteous) argument on my behalf that Drake’s “Started From The Bottom” is not hip hop certifiable based upon the fact he’s been a millionaire Canadian  child actor with a rich Jewish yt mother raised in fgt ass Canada since before he had hair on his nutz, and is extremely out of line slangin a southern accent and the word nigga with reckless abandonment. These are the battles I choose to fight.

Given my penchant for indiscriminately hating on non negro artists akkin like they can talk reckless without repurcussions, I fully support this frail yt Swedish bishes music.

Lyricism. If it’s real and you live it, I have your blessing.

If you’re showing up to PVRPL TRILL Nite at Good Life, putting dollas in the pockets of hack dj’s that are making money off catering to a crowd of people that get their rocks off on lampooning black hood culture, I dearly want you to contract penis cancer.

That’s neither here or there, and I say that to say this. <<< (ACTUAL STOLEN CAM’RON ADLIBS)

Respekk the lyrics:

I ate dinner in the bath tub, then I go to sex clubs

Watchin freaky people getting it on (X2)

It doesn’t make me nervous

If anything it makes me restless

Yeah, I’ve been around and I’ve seen it all

My life personified the last 10 years, and that’s the first 4 bars. This joint has lyrically touched me more than any Tupac song ever (who I think is the most over rated mc of all time) and I’m ready to attend her show at Brighton Music Hall when tix are available.

(But of course I won’t because it would be on a weekend, and that’s when I have my son…plus picture me paying 20 bucks to see sum cracka bitch)

That’s neither here or there, and I say that to say this.

Trees hates on me for poasting genuine hood shit, so I figure this provocative yt emo slept on shit will impress him in his North Carolina condo/trailer park.

Lyrics.


Freshman 2013

Friday, March 29th, 2013

Here is the 2013 list.

Somehow Action Bronson is a freshman? Didn’t he drop like 2 years ago?

Also – is that not the gayest picture of Chief Keef you have ever seen?


Will C’s Newest Project: John Wayne’s Seat Belt

Friday, March 29th, 2013

When it comes to putting out weird, trippy, musical shit I actually listen to… Will C may be the fucking champion.

His new project, John Wayne’s Seat Belt just dropped on March 19th. (Peep the bandcamp here)

Knowing Will C, I am sure the name “John Wayne’s Seat Belt” has some deep cultural meaning and story behind it that like 3 people know. That’s what make’s Will’s music so endearing though… he is on that shit.

I’m going to give Will C some solid gold reviews for his bandcamp right now. Will feel free to use these in your press kits:

“It’s not your typical rap shit. Drums bang, and the vocals make me wish I was on bath salts.”

“This is the soundtrack to an angel dust overdose.”

“I feel like catholic priests from the 1960s took the form of an MPC and are discreetly molesting my ear drums while the community turns a blind eye to these indiscretions”.


Sammy Adams Suffers Seizure?

Friday, March 29th, 2013

Damn – our boy(?) Sammy had a pretty crazy moment on stage last weekend.

Hopefully he is alright? The world really needs frat rap, maybe now more than ever.

Luckily his backing track finished the show for him so the fans still left happy.

Also – JayCeeOh saved Sam Adams life?


The Legendary DJ Scratch at the next Fresh Produce

Friday, March 29th, 2013

Stayed tuned for an exclusive JTTS interview…


BABYLON HAS FALLEN

Thursday, March 28th, 2013

Michael Jordan’s jumper over Bryon Russell in Game Six.

Ray Lewis leading the Ravens to Super Bowl victory.

Jimmy McNulty looking out on the city of Baltimore.

All really cool, dramatic ways to go out–opposed to, say, a press conference at Faneuil Hall.

But it is happening: Hizzoner is announcing the end of his 20-year reign there this afternoon.

There have been many dramatic exits over the years, but Big Tommy’s announcement that he will not seek re-election this November is huge and will have major repercussions for the next decade to come.

– With new candidates on the scene, Chris Faraone will be re-energized to dig deep into their personal and professional lives for the one time they helped an old lady cross the street who was actually a racist, Jew-hating bitch, which vis-a-vis makes said candidate a Nazi and gets him the cover story of Liberal Chest Thumpers monthly.

– From his new home in NC, a deeply conflicted Trees will find himself suddenly paralyzed with fear and self-doubt, alternately slamming his former Mayor and then wistfully reminiscing about the “good old days” when he would write poasts titled “Need Menino To Fix Your Neighborhood? Sheeeeeet.. All You Need Is A Dead Senator And A Visit From Obama…”

– Months from now, on the eve of the November election, Jeremy will be stunned to hear the news that Menino is not running, which he happened to catch in the background on TV while switching playlists from his “PRPL LEAN SWEATER RAPS” to “You’re the Only One Who Understands Me” playlist on his iPod.

Knife and ON&ON put plans in motion for MENINO RAVE 2013, now with foolproof coffin resurrection and moar glo-sticks.

– Our new mayor turns out to be a huge JTTS fan and begins a independent investigation into Boston Boy’s iTunes record sales.

Whatever the case may be, I was seven years old and living in Maryland when Mumbles first took office, so I have no idea how to properly frame his impact on the city, not knowing what is was then compared to now (less Dunkin Donuts, I imagine).

Like Master P said, there dey go.

BONUS JTTS MENINO CVRGE 

KANYE SAID GEORGE BUSH DON’T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE. STATIK SELEKTAH SAID MENINO DON’T LIKE HIP-HOP.

Menino Curses Celtics

Future Boston Alliance Take Aims at Menino’s Status Quo

 


GAYEST POAST EVER

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

Today, I was inundated with = avatars on Facebook.

Those that felt strongly enough about gay shit manipulated their profile pics to show support for men fuckin men and chicks lickin chicks.

 

That’s all it comes down to.

What makes you different/gay?

You choose to stick your dick into some non traditional shit that doesn’t coincide with who your neighbor chooses to stick they dick into.

If I’m a dude who is bothered by the fact you don’t want to compete with me in porking women I’m attracted to…That would make me a retard.

You have a six pack,  love gossip, Broadway shows, old movies, fashion, feelings, Beyoncé, Jimmy Choo, and all things fabulous, except the mc Fabolous.

Thank God I’m not in competition with you.

 God bless you for not wanting to holla at the Dominican chick with a donkey ass sitting across from me on the Orange Line.

 

 Your man purse, Diesel sneakers, and funny ass ways make it clear to her that my bum ass is her only option on this train if she’s looking for romance.

Gays in the male or female variety have no baring on my life whatsoever.

Boston Police, IRS, Child Support, Judges, lawyers and Irish people… they seem to be recurrent pains in my ass…no homo.

I can’t recall the last time a homo sunt me, discriminated against me, hated on me, or disrupted my day to day operations.

Furthermore, Hip Hop, which I’ve been dumb enough to invest my life in… has panned out to be pretty fucking gay.

LL Cool Gay J

Melle Mel

Russell Simmons

Sean Combs

Prodigy

Mr. Cee

Cam’ron

WTF?

I’m not enough of a fag to change my Facebook profile in the name of faggotry, but I am enough of a rational man in the year 2013 to say “I couldn’t give a fuck if you’re 6’5″, broccoli, and bend over for Bubba in your bedroom.”

For me to go out my way to effect your life when you aren’t fuckin with mine  ultimately makes me a fag of the supreme order.

In 20 years this country will look at this “debate” as primitive.

Do you, homo’s…I’ve got plenty of enemies, and your not one of them.


Asap Rocky x Skrillex x Wild For The Night [Video]

Monday, March 25th, 2013

First feedback I saw under the video on youtube:

sneakermagnet11able 

 Went to the slums/hood of dr to promote his flashy lifestyle and have little kids idolize him as if he’s some god. He can be as catchy as he wants but I refuse to fuck with rappers who promote dressing like a homo and gangster lifestyle living and blatant disrespect to the true lord.. I already know what he’s about and for those defending asap rocky you would be surprised what these weak niggas actually had to do and give up to be where they at now.

Sonance Punk               

Pathetic. Exploit DR people and the Americans cheer for more. ASAP fans are shitty white kids.


How The World Will Be Changed Forever: 3-D Printers

Monday, March 25th, 2013

My mind has officially been blown.

I just had a moment of clarity that put our time and place in the universe in perspective.

Sure, my mind was also blown when at 10 years old, I learned of a box I could place food in that would heat up my food through molecular polarization. Microwaves were cray.

Equally mind blowing was when my rich Joo uncle picked me up in his Benz that had a telephone in it. Shit wasn’t plugged into the wall! For only $12 a call, he could speak to anyone in a 2 mile radius. Craaaaaaay.

Cable television, the internet, Serato, cars that park themselves…I’ve witnessed the world dramatically change since I first came through in 1975.

When I was 5, electric typewriters were an incredible luxury.

My son at 5 instinctively logs on to Youtube, studies a walk through video of an X-Box 360 game, and proceeds to wiz through level after level as he competes against a 24 year old in Beijing all in real time. Fuck I’m old.

However, today, I have seen the future. I have seen something that puts my naïve perception of “technology” to shame. I now realize we, in 2013, may as well be rubbing rocks together, and carpooling with our buddy Barney to the ole rock quarry for a day of work. Mark my words. This invention will change the course of history, and I fear, for the worse.

The 3-D printer. Been around for about 3 years. Here’s the short of it. Scan the picture of an object. Atoms and molecules collide, and voila…you are now physically holding that object.

(more…)


JTTS @ 5: Our First Poast by Chris Faraone

Monday, March 25th, 2013

Reliving the classic first ever JTTS poast.

It’s pretty much stayed tru to the format for the last 4.7 years.

Five yurr anniversary coming up reeeeaal soon.

Here is teh poast from @Fara1 aka Faraoney. A JTTS Founder. Now deceased.

 

Before landing my first article in Spin, the highlight of my writing career was in third grade when I won the P.S. 32 poetry prize for a piece called “Winter Is…” In honor of my dominating the mid-eighties Queens public school literary scene, and in wanting to communicate to readers of our new blog what will be delivered all day every day on Jump The TurnStyle, I thought it was appropriate to un-vault the classic elementary school ellipsis format and add a little twist. This one is dedicated to Mr. Wilhelm, all the lunch ladies whose butter crunch cookies got me through my early school days, and the marijuana that enables me to dive into my stream of consciousness.

Jump The TurnStyle Is…

(more…)


Captain Murphy x The Killing Joke [ Video ]

Sunday, March 24th, 2013

Flying Lotus a.k.a. Captain Murphy releases his latest joint sounding like Tyler The Creator. Got it?

 Me neither. Cool video though.


2013 Is A Wrap. Song / Video Of The Year Was Just Released.

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013

BLONDE HAIR SOULJA BOY LOOKING MAD SICK THESE DAYZ WITH THE FACE TATS…
RESPECT SOULJA.

BORROWING A LIL’ SWAG FROM THE BASED GOD ON THIS ONE?


Ford Recommends The Figo As A Quality Car For Rapists In India

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013

As women continue to be gang raped in India, the country is facing an embarassing national crisis as the world watches.

Enter Ford, who is promoting their “Figo” car in India.

To display the roomy cargo space the Figo offers, they thought it would be a smashing idea to depict bound and gagged women in the trunk of a car, and splash that shit all over Indian billboards and magazines.

Here’s Paris Hilton driving with the Kardashians in the back.

Needless to say, Ford has apologized for the insensitive ads after  public outcry.