THE HOTTEST NEW COMMERCIALIZATION OF PRISON CULTURE: “SHANK ART”
The art world is so full of shit. I thoroughly respect a nigga that can draw well, or sculpt some dope shit up real quick…but let’s be real…a lot of these so called artists out here are just pullin shit out they ass, and cakin!
My landlady has a “work space” in the back yard…it’s basically an old ass garage with a bunch of metal and power tools in it. She toils in there for hours…pensively smoking her yellow pack of American Spirit cigarettes while she welds a fuckin bike chain to a copper pipe in the name of God damn art. Bitch please. You wanna impress me? Draw me a fuckin picture that looks like something. You getting dressed up in overalls, dusty Doc Martens, and tying a retarded flannel around your waist doesn’t make you an artist. It makes me nauseous.
Enough about my landlady…in other pretentious art news, designers Chen Chen and Kai Williams (gay as fuck names) have teamed up to create an artistic ode to shanks. Yes, shanks. The prison tool of choice in most murder matters. Here’s an excerpt from their website, where they display 30 one of a kind shanks for sale…all selling for $75 a piece.
Sharp, knifelike utensils have been made by humans for the last 2.6 million years. All cultures make use of a form of a knife and there are hundreds of types made from metal, plastic, stone, ceramic, glass and wood. For the launch of the web store, Chen Chen and Kai Williams present Shank Shack, 30 shanks in 30 days. These sharp utensils were made as an exercise in experimentation of connections and manipulation of proportions and materials. All pieces in the series achieve one goal and show the myriad of methods one could improvise to achieve that goal. All pieces are unique works and are signed and numbered.
And all this time I thought convicts in prison were making shanks to survive in a kill or be killed existance. Stupid me didn’t realize they were merely indulging in the exercise of experimenting connections and manipulation of proportions and materials in a myriad of improvisational methods to achieve a goal.
FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOU, ART!
I’D LOVE TO SHOVE THAT STUPID SHANK ART OF YOURS UP YOUR PRETENTIOUS PUSSY HOLE!!!
Anyways, enjoy some of their pieces below, or get your credit card out and cop some $75 shanks at their site HERE.