Deep Thoughts By Jack Handy

I can’t really compete with Treez or On&On’s stories unless I’m getting mugged by tweens, but since I paid my $80 to help “de-AIDS” this site, Im compelled to write something. Something concerning my new Treez-less life and to let people know JTTS still exists. If there were a single “No Homo” key on my keypad, I would breeze through this piece in half the time. After 7 long years, my common law marriage to Rob Reilly has ended.

No more dudes night out. No more picking him up from jail. No more loud sleep apnea snores rumbling down the hallway. No more us seeing each other covered in blood (NH) from various forgotten debauchery. Our path to manchild-hood is now a separate, lonely trail through life (NH).

The first thing I noticed upon his departure are all the things that I’ve inherited from this situation. All the crap that you suddenly realize is yours when a longtime roommate leaves you. Like this stuff here:

See anything you like? Could be for sale. The second thing I realized is I’m old as hell. My household is now made up of young, fashionable whipper-snappers (NH) in their early 20s. My girlfriend recently told me she’s had the same phone number since sixth grade. JKFGT corrects my spelling of PVRPLE and sends me rap music I’ve never heard of. Jokes fall on deaf ears.  Star Wars is something they may get around to watching at some point. The list goes on.

And there you have it. My youth was fun while it lasted, but everything comes to an end eventually. Guess you’ll see me swinging from the ceiling fan soon. (BTW this is a desperate cry for help)…..sooooo……yeah……cool story bro…

Wishing A. J. Wright was still open.

2 Responses to “Deep Thoughts By Jack Handy”

  1. DJ ON&ON Says:

    I give you 5 months before you show up on Trees’ doorstep in Shellbyville, North Carolina on some “I can’t quit you, bro” shit.

    He will let you in, words unspoken, and you will both proceed to sip PBR’s on his couch in silence as the Gravediggaz album plays on repeat.

  2. Sleezy Trees Says:

    I got a little choked up reading this I can’t front.

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