NORTH HOLLYWOOD SWINGIN’: WHEN COMMENTERS ATTACK

From the desk of General Stoor, JTTS Los Angeles Bureau Chief

“Cause it’s ’88, time to set it straight…”  -Big Daddy Kane, Ain’t No Half-steppin’

Well, really it’s 2012, but I feel compelled to bring you, my loyal readers, the pure, unadulterated truth…

So I’m at my “office” the other day when my favorite bartender, <slave name redacted>, introduces me to a gentleman who’d just sat down next to me (after originally trying to steal my seat). “Meet <slave name redacted>“, she says, “he’s a rapper too”. “My name’s <slave name redacted>“, I say, “what do you go by?”  “BBB” is his reply. “Cool, I’m General Stoor.” General Stoor. Those two magic words. All of a sudden dude’s buggin out. “You’re the dude that writes for JTTS? The porn guy? Do you know Trees? Do you know DJ Onion? Is Faraone really the closeted homosexual his poasts make him out to be? Why does he listen to such shit music?” I felt like Prince Akeem in Coming to America when he ran in to the Zamundan vendor at the basketball game.

“I will cherish this experience for the rest of my life”

 

Fucking kill me. Thanks to Trees’ hard hitting “investigative journalism” all of you JTTSetters are already aware of my recent run-in with psychopath rap superstar commenter extrodinaire, BBB a.k.a. Big Bennett Bionic. It was a watershed moment in this young man’s life. I know this because he immediately took to the interwebs to brag about meeting me. Wanna know who doesn’t brag about meeting me? Women. Know who else? Normal people.

My first ever interaction with Mr. Bionic was a virtual one. It took place in the comments section of my soon to be Pulitzer Prize nominated poast, Porn to be Wild Pt. 2. It went thusly:

 

 

Needless to say, I didn’t take him up on his offer to hang out…

 

Luckily for me, when we did finally meet, BBB was kind enough to explain to me what “go hard in the paint means”. It has something to do with getting banned from a North Hollywood watering hole “because the bouncers were jealous that he was pulling too many chicks”!!! I can’t make this stuff up. He did play me a pretty good song that he made though.  It was called “Adrianna”, and I think it was about a pet that he had that had passed away.

Dude’s nuts. Straight up and down. After taking to UGHH with his story and having it poasted about on this very site, I receive this text from Mr. Humble:

Actual text from BBB

I swear to (based) God that the only good thing to come out of all of this was getting to delve into the UGHH forum culture for the first time. Virgins of the world unite. It was all rather funny, save for one unsavory tidbit aimed at yours truly:

6854 message board poasts since 2010 = No pussy for Orien

This dude must be from Natick. Doug Flutie sucks. You suck. Nobody talks junk about Framingham. It’s the home of such luminaries as myself, Tall Matt, Godforbid, and Jaxn. We also have a women’s prison, where, were you to comb it’s halls while waving two fistfuls of pardons, I suspect you still would not be able to get laid. I’ma see you you sissy.

Stay tuned for next time as I bring you the epic tale of my sexual exploits with a reformed(?) white supremacist chick on the evening of the epic game six of the 2011 world series.

 

10 Responses to “NORTH HOLLYWOOD SWINGIN’: WHEN COMMENTERS ATTACK”

  1. angry al Says:

    A said loss to boston you are. But a great add to jtts. I feel i missed my momment in turning down trees is invite to write on this here blog.?

  2. bbb Says:

    :(

  3. General Stoor Says:

    I blog hard in the paint.

  4. bbb Says:

    more like slither

  5. I go hitmfp, n. Says:

    http://jumptheturnstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/gstoor5.jpg

    is the guy in this pic really the guy talking shit in the above blog?

    Cum to think of it, he does kinda look like the repressed type of pussy who would be a friendly faggot to your face and then proceed put on his denim booty shorts and cowardly talk shit (terribly unfunny mind you) about you on the internet from the safety of his dank forever lonely jerk-off pad.

    eat shit, snake.

  6. ACE FREELY Says:

    What exactly was the point of this blog? BBB can be overbearing but he would give you the shirt off this fucking back. Youre a pretty mean guy Store

  7. karate mark Says:

    general stoor looks like the type of guy that lifts a leg up when he kisses another man.

  8. karate mark Says:

    i meant foot. he lifts a foot up. like, behind him like, how the girl does in the movies. lifting a leg would be some weird shit. dudes weird no doubt but that would be weird weird. whatever. fuck his life.

  9. BBB Says:

    Big Bennett Bionic
    “Adriana”
    http://youtu.be/vxA-J5FJGtE

  10. redderd Says:

    general stoor is a fuckin fagget

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