Wanted to revisit the 2011 XXL Freshmen List one more ‘gain. Since it’s Year end and all.

Really wanted to show you what this list means as far as holdin’ weight.

Only one or two dudes on here anyone gives a fuck about at the close of 2011.. and even then.. barely.

I don’t count Mac Miller because Frat Rap exists in a whole different world. It’s like saying Backstreet Boys were a “band”. Sure they are successful, but it has nothing to do with talent or skill.. it’s because the industry force fed them to a wider audience. I could put a few other dudes in there as well.

No one really cares about Yelawolf. Do they?

This cover the new Madden curse if you ask me.

Fuck XXL.

I don’t take pride in anything I didn’t do on purpose. I’m Italian, but feel no allegiance whatsoever with my fellow big nosed brothers and sisters. In fact there are few things that I despise more than those who take tons of stock in something they had nothing to do with; the sight of sports fans cheering on their home team, or of dumbasses getting shitwrecked for Saint Patrick’s Day like it’s an Irish birthright, makes me ill. That’s why I hate Trees. And Marty, whose Latino identity relies on him watching grown men in short shorts kick balls around a field.

With that said, I was not unhappy to see older white guys – most of whom are quite rotund in the gut like yours truly – dominate hip-hop, at least quality-wise, in 2011. Sure – most Americans still do and will always think that major Caucasian popularity in rap music is limited to the success of Eminem, Vanilla Ice, and the 2 Live Jews (and those assholes from Saturday Night Live who, by the way, aren’t funny). But for those of us who are in the know – a small but exclusive group of which I am the self-proclaimed and undisputed leader and shot-caller – the game at this point has as much pale talent as it does any other kind.

I’m not just talking about in board rooms and behind the boards – as was formerly the case. And this isn’t a sequel to the frat rap fellatio that I delivered in the Boston Phoenix a few weeks ago (though that’s coming soon – I promise). I’m talking about some of the hardest MCs anywhere, who brought the hardest albums this year, which resonated with hardcore fans like me – fans who know what the fuck is up. From Apathy’s epic ‘Honky Kong,‘ to ‘Cats & Dogs’ by Evidence, to the homey Slaine finally officially dropping his ‘World With No Skies’ opus, I’d say 2011 was the best year for white guys since whenever it was that Non-Phixion, the High and Mighty, and El-P stepped on the scene.

Of course much of what I’m saying here relates to Action Bronson. If not for him, the dudes mentioned above, Click Animosity (also a largely Caucasian operation, save for Trust and Hoppie X-Ray), and a handful of others, I wouldn’t have listened to much new hip-hop at all this past year. Bronson was a Nas-send for a lot of heads, his overall flow and content level leagues tighter than any single line that’s ever been uttered by any XXL freshman – plus a voice and cadence needed to get the job done and then some. But for me, his arrival has been extra special, as my similar Queens-bred background enlightens me to both his inside reference humor and general gusto. He’s to me what someone like Sam Adams is for Trees.

So that’s about it – I was impressed with the white man this year. Props are also due for Ill Bill, who made a number of significant cameos, new local beast squad Grey Sky Appeal, and of course Statik Selektah, who produced something like every track for all of the aforementioned MCs. Next year I’ll be listening to a lot more music – even bad music, like the kind that everybody else writes about on this web site – and will no doubt find a whole lot more color in my selections. But in 2011 – the year that Spotify gave me unlimited anywhere access to old favorites like Cappadonna’s ‘The Yin and the Yang’ – I simply didn’t have enough time to operate far outside of my wheelhouse. And as most of you know, I’m a chubby white guy who’s simply too old to dance the Dougie.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Sleezy Trees Collection, featuring 17 original animations and photos from January to December 2011. Presented out of context for your enjoyment.

(more…)

French Montana
Waka Flocka Flame
Prodigy of Mobb Deep

Hell on Earth 2011.

Some of the worst lyrics I’ve ever heard. Prodigy looks like he made a detour thru AJ Wright for his outfit. They desecrate one of my favorite Mobb songs of all time..

and yet, I can’t stop singing the chorus.

(Is it because Waka literally repeats it for 8 bars of his verse?)

I thought this was interesting.. not sure I’m a huge fan of the actual music.. but this guy is going hard at Tyler & (Yukonn’s favorite MC of the year) Hopsin.

After listening to Tyler’s “Bastard” album, Poetic shouted out OFWGKTA In His “Pokerface” video. He was expecting Tyler’s movement to carry the torch for the upcoming generation, but it wasn’t until Tyler released “Goblin” some months down the line that Poetic realized OFWGKTA couldn’t be the face of this generation. In regards to Hopsin, Poetic claims dude just tries to hard and needs to focus more on his lyrics than his image.

I don’t know why.. but I am fascinated with this shit. Dude’s eyes rolled back in his head, referencing Gravediggaz in his lyrics. If this kid is in his early 20s I’ll approve of this.. He knows his shit. If he is my age, well.. this is just sad.

I feel like Chris Faraone would love this.

FARAONE…(ECHO…)

The next video from The Last Days finds J the S meditating on life and a tumultuous year. Produced by the Kick Drums.

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Who the fuck.. ?

I had no idea who this dude is. .but I’m feeling this. Bay Area.

Kinda reminds me of some Bone Thugs shit..

Anyway.. his YouTube video led me to a bunch of Main Attrakionz vids by the same director..

And then to this track from Main Attrakionz member Squadda B .. which features Danny Brown & Shady Blaze .. from a mixtape that looks kinda incredible called “Back Sellin’ Crack”.

Which led me to download the mixtape… which unfortunately wasn’t that good… but judge for yourself.

Won both my fantasy league .. and my football pool.

$800 in winnings total.

Christmas = paid for.

Giants will beat the Cowboys Sunday night.. and will eventually beat Green Bay to go on to the Superbowl to face the Patriots in a rematch of 2007.

I pay a lot of bills every month. Car. Phone. Credit Cards. etc. Most of the time I am on time paying them. Sometimes I am late on them.

The one bill I hate paying is fucking Comcast. They rape my household for $130 every month. (Cable is not worth a fucking penny over $29.99 – Internet should be $9.99.) Every month I bend over and let them fuck me in the ass with fees and charges.

But the worst experience is when, heaven forbid, I miss ONE payment.

Today’s experience went like this: Text from Knife – Cable / Internet shut off. Ok, log on to website to pay. Search for name + password, can’t remember. Need to reset. Put all information in. Somehow logs me out. I log in again. NATURALLY, their piece of shit website isn’t working to take payment. It NEVER works to take payment. It doesn’t store my billing information like most normal websites do, nor does it stay logged in while I search for my credit card # to pay it. Put my credit card info thru. Response = “We are experiencing difficulties processing your payment at this time“. FUCK YOU. Put my SAVINGS account + routing – SUBMIT. Response = “We are experiencing difficulties processing your payment at this time“.

FUCK. You would think a company that supplies me internet would have a decently crafted ONLINE payment processing system in place. WTF.

Now I know when you CALL these fgts.. they charge a “convenience fee“. Which is complete bullshit.. I have to pay a fee to pay my bill? I could write 10 poasts on bullshit fees so I won’t dwell on this.. but I will say, Fuck the fee.. I hate calling because I avoid talking to these pakistani robots as much as possible.

So I try out their “LIVE CUSTOMER SERVICE CHAT” – which means, I am of course still dealing with scripted robots, probably cyborgs or some sort of half human technology.

I mean.. who the fuck names their child DYAN? Is it a male? Is it a female? Is it a random computer generated word, like a Captcha? FUCK..

The live chat naturally leads me no where. The dude/fembot/cyborg on the other end takes 5 minutes to respond to each question. They pepper self serving advertisements in between responses. I know that I must now bite the bullet and deal with the Robotic Indians at their customer service center.

I make the call. Sure enough, The soulless, script reading indian fgts that take my call read paragraphs of canned responses to me after having to wait 10 minutes to pay the fucking bill..

“Listen”, I say.. “I want to pay my bill. I am ready to pay my bill. It’s a simple exchange of information. I do not want to converse with you about anything, I do not want you to be polite to me or follow your script. I give you my billing info, you process it, I hang up.”

Twenty minutes and 10 pages of barely audible indian-accented fueled canned script later.. my bill is paid. Service restored. Total process time: 1 Hour. I blog about it. Realize that someone beat me to the punch and I wasted another half hour of my life. Publish poast anyway. Fail.

Reading ON&ON’s list from yesterday got me thinking. Stayed up late last night with just a lonely glass of red wine and some scented candles listening to this song on repeat and just thinking about blgging and tumblrng and Skrillex memes and sensitive innanet thugz and digi-emo swag rap. Thought about how Chris Faraone sounds like a tweed jacket high school English teacher who likes to go home at night, get high and write things in his Moleskin like “there’s a dude named Aesop Rock, who, I might add, is a poetic and musical genius to this fool’s ignoramus” in his empty apartment with a few cats. Thought about how my last interaction with JKFGT was a text message saying “Do we know who Yukonn is yet?” Thought about how Treez borrowed my coffee grinder to cook up some drugs and never returned it. Wrote an angry letter to my dad, tore it up, wrote a new one, tore it up and passed out after ordering Antwone Fisher on pay-per-view. This blog is killing me.

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DOWNLOAD: Frank Ocean – 4 Tears

Maybe y’all are sick of these two by now, but I’m not. Action + Statik post-JFK assassination, on some Oliver Stone shit. From Well-Done. 

Statik lost some weight maybe?

Action gained some definitely?

PRETTY STANDARD SKRILLEX MEME STUFF HERE. SOME OF THE CLASSIXXX FROM THIS YEAR OF OUR L†RD.

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SO HARD TO CHOOZE JUST FIVE.

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