The term “Sneaker Head” makes me want to slice my arm vertically from elbow to wrist, exposing my vein and allowing my precious life blood to pool at my feet.

When I was growing up in East Hartford there were three places to get Sneakers – Foot Locker, Champs, and occasionally the rare find at Athlete’s Foot. I fondly remember skipping school to cop the $200 Pippens – those hideous Nikes with all around bubble amd the word “Air” written down the side. The trick was – after you skipped school to cop, you had to sneak back into school to wear them before anyone else. I made it to class by like 10:15 and by 11:30 – I had the fucking juice.

These days – “Sneaker Heads” and “Sneaker Culture” make we want to swallow a gun. Whenever I see people camped out in front of any fly by night azn run streetwear store I can’t help but feel anger. Why does it bother me that others find solace in collecting a seemingly rare piece of rubber and faux leather stitched together by less fortunate azns in Korea and China? I mean, it’s an object – some people actually wear them and they serve a function, but mostly it’s like getting mad at comic book nerds and record collector’s. They are just dudes doing them. Why does it absolutely infuriate me?

I don’t know.. am I a hater? Am I jealous? Do I feel as though my youth has been exploited and corrupted on an almost biblical level? Who knows?

I remember when I gave this chick a ride one time and I had a pair of Jordans in the back of my trunk and they were all beat to shit.. She was like – dayum, you destroyed those Jordans – those are like a $200 pair of shoes. I turned to her and stated – “Well, that’s because I bought those fuckers in 1998 when Jordan still played basketball and actually wore them to play basketball – I think they look good for being over 12 years old.” Bitch shut the fuck up on the spot and didn’t know how to react.

Anyway – I rarely get geeked about sneakers anymore.. not like Chris Faraone does..

but

they are releasing the Marty McFly’s finally..

The real ones.

Michael J Fox is even on board.

The ones that self-lace, the self lace shit that Nike took a patent out on last year won’t drop until 2015 I guess according to Doc.