While looking up some spots in DC on Yelp, I came across this guy’s profile. Not on Charlie Sheen status, but still a boss.
Some fun excerpts of his reviews, most of which are for restaurants and bars: “Why does this guy behind me keep moon tapping me? If you dont know what that means thats cheek on cheek contact where u van actually feel the contours on the other butt.”
“Ab area is kinda weak though but who needs abs when you have a butt like me?”
“This place use to be trendy and pimp but it ain’t anymore. Hay day you had 6’s which equates to a 9 in DC. Now you got at best a DC 6 which mean ugly. Thats goes both ways and I stopped going there. My ugly ain’t hurting the statistics.”
“Why is this place so far from Adams Morgan even though it says Adams Morgan on the sign? I’m fat. One block for me is like five blocks for a skinny person. Smells like piss and vomit at night.”
“I’m like Spartacus and everyone else is like people Spartacus kills. Grappling-got it. Striking-got it. Cardio-been had it. I’m gonna beat your ass, rob you and I ain’t even need a gun. So if you see me on the streets be scared. Be real scared. Not just cause I’m butt ugly, cause I’m a lethal weapon. Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife.”
Read the rest here