While looking up some spots in DC on Yelp, I came across this guy’s profile. Not on Charlie Sheen status, but still a boss.

Some fun excerpts of his reviews, most of which are for restaurants and bars: “Why does this guy behind me keep moon tapping me? If you dont know what that means thats cheek on cheek contact where u van actually feel the contours on the other butt.”

“Ab area is kinda weak though but who needs abs when you have a butt like me?”

“This place use to be trendy and pimp but it ain’t anymore.  Hay day you had 6′s which equates to a 9 in DC.  Now you got at best a DC 6 which mean ugly.  Thats goes both ways and I stopped going there.  My ugly ain’t hurting the statistics.”

“Why is this place so far from Adams Morgan even though it says Adams Morgan on the sign?  I’m fat.  One block for me is like five blocks for a skinny person.  Smells like piss and vomit at night.”

“I’m like Spartacus and everyone else is like people Spartacus kills.  Grappling-got it.  Striking-got it.  Cardio-been had it.  I’m gonna beat your ass, rob you and I ain’t even need a gun.  So if you see me on the streets be scared.  Be real scared.  Not just cause I’m butt ugly, cause I’m a lethal weapon.  Hide yo kids.  Hide yo wife.”

Read the rest here

Boston’s most notorious rap scoundrel slash actor Slaine – best known theatrically from roles in “The Town” and “Gone Baby Gone” – is set to appear on NBC’s “The Cape” tonight at 9pm EST. Unfortunately, the show is getting canceled, and the first season was scaled back from 13 to 10 episodes, so hip-hop fans won’t get to check all of the La Coka Nostra and Special Teamz member’s performances. Still there’s tonight, and no doubt some inevitable DVD extras in a few months.

I’ll also note that Slaine is co-starring on tonight’s episode with Lil Romeo, who I think might go as Romeo these days. This is hilarious for several reasons, but mostly because Slaine takes just about every opportunity possible to kick around shitty southern MCs like Romeo’s father, Master P, and every other no-talent joker who’s ever been down with No Limit.

Here For My Most Recent Interview With Slaine About His Acting Career

Charlie Sheen destroys this poor woman with a blazing death ray of realness.

DJ 7L (Bladerunners) Bashment Party (Reggae Mix) by BLADERUNNER7L

New video from Skipp Whitman, off the Skipp City album. Support this man!

at least it ain’t sepia.

Happy Monday.

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DOWNLOAD: Reks x Styles P x Alchemist – “Why Cry”

Thanks to everyone who came out to celebrate the re-launch.

Hang in there. Much more craziness to come in the immediate future.

Fuck Your Blog!!! (more…)

We got midget clowns, rap p0asts, mushrooms, angry comments and all that. And now we’ll actually read you’re e-mails.

It’s gonna be big people.

shouts to Will C

Tyler The Creator x Biebs.

OFWGKTA MTV Special.

Freaks and Geeks from Donald Glover on Vimeo.

That guy from Community (and the classic bro-rape video), he raps. And he has been for a while apparently. This kid is clearly talented, and if you think I’m not just a bit jealous, you don’t know me too well. But this video feels like the result of a record company throwing a million dollar video budget at an actor so he can put his Lil Wayne/Drake mirror routine on film. If you can make it through to the end of the video, he’ll give you a serious-looking stare and pause-worthy wry smile that lasts about 10 seconds too long.

Lateb (of Heddshotts and Zombie Death Squad) hits us off with “Obsolete,” produced by Stu Bangas, an exclusive track from his new album Wisdom & Ignorance, available on February 22.

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DOWNLOAD: Lateb the God x Stu Bangas – “Obsolete”

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BONUS: Lateb – Lord (prod. by Anno Domani)