There’s nothing that really turns me on more than incest.

I mean, I can’t count how many times I’ve looked over at my Dad and just thought to myself – “holy shit, imagine how wonderful it would be to fuck my dad!”. There’s truly nothing more beautiful than sharing your bed with someone that helped raise you from birth. Truly nothing so special as the moment you cross the line from mother / son to lovers.  I believe many of you here have been molested by a relative at some point.. and it was probably the hottest moment (sexually) of your lives. AM I RIGHT?

Which is why this story warms my heart.

You see this happy couple? Well, they are related. Yup. Phil (the dude), is hitting that 72 year old smoking hot piece of tail, which also happens to be his fucking grandmother. Her name is Pearl. She gave birth to Phil’s mom. That’s right. Phil comes home from work everyday and fucks his grandma. She seduced him, and he went all in. Fuck it.

Pearl told New Idea magazine: “From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship.

“For the first time in years I felt sexually alive.”

It was during their second week together, after dinner and wine, that Pearl made her move.

“I called Phil into my bedroom, sat him on the bed, and then I leant over and kissed him,” she added.

“I expected rejection but instead he kissed me back.”

Phil revealed: “I wanted to kiss her there and then. My feelings were overwhelming.

“I love Pearl with all my heart. I’ve always been attracted to older women and I think Pearl is gorgeous. Now I’m going to be a dad and I can’t wait.

“Yes, we get laughed at and bullied when we go out and kiss in public but we don’t care. You can’t help who you fall for.”

And thankfully, when Pearl dies in a few years from old age or bad karma, her great-grandson / son will be able to carry on the family name. Then hopefully, old man Phil can fuck him too.. and the incestuous cycle will repeat forever with cousins/sons and uncles/greatgrandsons/son/daughter combinations until their DNA is so intertwined and blurred with each other they giving birth to nothing but mounds of flesh and organs and slime and someone actually gives birth to themselves.

Granny, 72 Having A Baby With Her Grandson

And yes.. I know what you’re thinking. America is a fucked up place. Well, thankfully this is happening in the New Zealand.. So we can breathe a sigh of relief. For once Americans don’t lead the weird parade.

Oh wait..

Grammy is from Indiana. Story makes sense now.

Go USA!

This is what happens when a pregnant woman chugs cough syrup for 9 months and leaves her young baby to grow up in the Shyheim “Dust Juice” house.

I’ve slowly come to accept the massive divide between the three main JTTS contributors:

Chris Faraone–hates everything except Boston rappers, Big Noyd and anyone who sounds like Necro

Sleezy Trees–hates everything except Blacastan*

*he does take temporary pleasure from anything that Faraone hates, but then goes on to hate it later anyway

Me–realizing that I actually still like hip-hop, including hipster blog-rap shit like this.

And I’m not super old.

New leak from the big homey Blacastan .. THE DICE LIFE (Produced by Statik Selektah)

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Blacastan – The Dice Life (Dirty)
Blacastan – The Dice Life (Clean)
Blacastan – The Dice Life (Instrumental)

Blacastan’s debut album – BLAC SABBATH drops next Tuesday.. 5.4.10 – COP IT + Support that real chit.

Also — peep this promo video. Some funny shit.

Sorry that we didn’t tell you about this sooner, but this one is definitely better late than never. The long story short is: legendary tattoo artist Mister Cartoon is in town; there will be music from Flavorheard; and it’s all FREE like [insert your favorite rapper on parole]. It’s one of those events that definitely warrants canceling other plans; I just went to check the set-up…

Details…

What: Nike World Cup True Colors Colob Launch Party w/ Mr. Cartoon (LA) & Flavorheard

Date: Thursday, April 29, 2010

Time: 7:00pm – 11:00pm

Location: 132 Brookline Ave Boston MA

Description:

The man’s hand style is recognized around the world and is both menacing and beautiful. Bred in Los Angeles, Mister Cartoon’s art work can be seen on the arms of our time’s most lauded musicians. His work is steeped in the East Los Angeles Chicano culture of low riders and graffiti.

Nike Sportswear chose Mister Cartoon as the American artist for the True Colors Artist Collaboration – a fusion of art and fashion for the World Cup. Nike Sportswear will be holding events to launch the collection in New York, Boston, and Chicago next week. Come out to see the collection and Mister Cartoon in action.

At the Boston Event, Flavorheard (just voted best djs by the Boston Phoenix) provide the sounds, while Nike is bringing Mr. Cartoon, a customization machine and a laser machine – for you to customize tees ….  We’re also hunting down a taco truck.

Thought this was pretty dope. Can’t wait for football season btw..

They are updating the on screen graphics for Fox NFL Sunday.

Bolder, larger, cleaner graphics.

Is this a new design trend for the 10′s. I hope so.

via

I know that to all of you JTTS readers, I write about M-Dot way too much (or not enough, depending on where you clock on the hater radar). But still, I waited a few years to cover him for the Boston Phoenix in a full-profile, and I’m glad I didn’t rush it when he first started making noise. Like M-Dot says in our interview, he’s had more than 75 articles written about him, and I’m glad to add one to the canon at this juncture, while he’s in mid-sprint. Holy hell knows this dude worked for it.

M-Dot is live on Brookline Ave, chopping it up with nurses, businessmen, and co-eds. We’re meeting for an interview, but in the five minutes it takes me to walk down from the Phoenix offices, the North Shore native has already stickered the perimeter and spit game to dozens of approaching Sox fans about his show at José McIntyre’s that Friday. “I get absolutely frantic if I’m not moving every second,” he says, speaking as quickly as he rhymes. “Everybody raps — I rap, you rap, he raps — so I have no choice. I have to go harder.”

READ IT ALL HERE

You like swagger rappers? Dese has you covered. Backpack battle raps? No problem. Like homeboy says on the last Camp album,  he can do it Smack style or Scribble Jam. If you don’t understand that line (or at least half of it), then this might not be for you. Then again – I’ve long argued that Dese has Boston’s most commercially viable flow for an MC with ill lyrics. Don’t sleep.

DOWNLOAD THE MIXTAPE FOR FREE HERE…

And Check for his new disc, Dese Be With You, on iTunes…

Rip Shop should be one of the first names you mention when recalling Boston’s early-2000s underground rap renaissance. The Dorchester MC stood out from his contemporaries not just because of his trademark stop-and-go flow but because he bridged intellectual aspirations of the over-educated Western Front crowd with the rhetoric of rugged Blue Hill Ave boys who’d missed out on the vibrant scene emerging up in Cambridge.

Although he fell dormant for a moment, now, thanks to flawless throwbackdrops from DJ Reel Drama, Rip is finally committing his story — that of a Grove Hall cat who’s seen more friends die than graduate from college — to fully developed projects. Like 2007’s Playtime’s Over, The Authenticity — from Bean anthems like “Hood Luv” and “Real Deal” to the authoritative “Can’t Wear Skinny Jeans” with Craig G — showcases his ability to cover almost every corner of the topic map while maintaining his criminal edge.

And though Rip is competent enough to shred cuts on his own, appearances from such heavyweights as Big Shug, Jaysaun, Dre Robinson, and Reks serve a purpose here: to show that he can wreck shop with Boston’s finest.

Necro is infinitely tighter – beat and rhyme-wise – than just about every so-called artist who shows up on all those bullshit pay-for-play hip-hop sites (yet they ignore him). With that said, JTTS is proud to host as much degeneracy as Psycho+Logical cares to leak us. This shit is especially ridiculous – I’m talking “Scalpel” dope. Take a razor. And slice it!

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LISTEN: Necro – “Set It”

Props to Jake Paine from Hip-Hop DX for scoring (and transcribing) this remarkable interview with Solar’s baby mama, who worked extensively with 7 Grand. It’s a heart-breaking read, but holy shit is there a lot in here (excerpt below with link at the end)…

DX: Right. These guys weren’t just studio rats, so to speak. How close did it get, not in terms of it being a feud or anything, but you think there would have been contact with people that could get Guru’s mind right, old peers…
Tasha Denham: Honestly, pretty much, they kept themselves secluded from the Hip Hop world. They did not go out in New York City very often at all. It was a very rare occurrence, after Guru stopped drinking, that they would go out in New York. It wasn’t because of Guru’s drinking that they stopped going either.

When Guru stopped drinking, when he decided to stop drinking, he stopped drinking. Solar drinks Corona [beers] every single day. Solar would send Guru to the store to buy his Coronas for him. When Guru stopped drinking, he stopped drinking. Guru could have a bottle in his house, he wasn’t gonna drink it. He made that decision. When they toured, he was in nightclubs every night. He stopped drinking.

I truly believe that…Solar made it that “there’s so much hate out there for us. Being New York, Premier and them are out there, blah, blah, blah.” So they didn’t go. They didn’t even take shows in New York most of the time. There was always an excuse. Shows in Boston, there was always an excuse as to why they weren’t gonna do that show. All the tracks that had [featuring artists], they were all sent [to Guru and Solar]. They didn’t do those in the studio, personally, with any of those artists. I cannot speak of one single artist that was actually in the studio with them. Most of the time, it was all through management, so on and so forth. So there weren’t any opportunities for other artists to help bridge that gap because first of all, if Guru ever had the opportunity, Solar was standing right there.

Guru was never around anyone in the industry without Solar standing right next to him. He never did an interview unless Solar was right there. If somebody was to say, “Yo Guru, when’s there gonna be another Gang Starr album?” Guru would just knock it down right away, because if that got brought up and that became an issue, it would be become a [problematic issue] between him and Solar.

Guru and I spoke privately about who was that one person who could help give us that one hit for 7 Grand. He and Fat Joe were always really close, back in the day, and that was one of the people I know he thought about reaching out to. I can’t say that he ever did, out of fear that Solar wouldn’t agree with it, and Solar would find a reason not to, and it would become a problem again.

READ IT ALL HERE

I saw a truly amazing documentary about 80s comic king Bill Hicks at the IFF-Boston this past weekend. For those who don’t know, Hicks is the legend of all legends. Though he died from pancreatic cancer in 1994, he lives on in all the comics who inherited his bits and mannerisms, from Bill Maher and Dennis Miller to Lewis Black and Denis Leary (he also looked a lot like Kevin Smith toward the end of his life).

Below is one of my favorite Hicks clips of all-time (about flag burning) – as well as the trailer for the film. Get on board now, because any minute now t-shirts with the above image will begin popping up on college campuses everywhere. The film is brilliantly edited, and I bet the technical dynamics of this doc change the genre forever. But more importantly, millions of people will finally hear these words, which are even more applicable now than they were under Bush I…