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Friday Flashback. This used to be that shit.
J the S goes in with a different kinda track…what y’all think?
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This year the Sprite Step Off was won by a white sorority. If you don’t know what stepping is, see “Stomp The Yard”. Basically stepping is to black fraternities and sororities what drunken promiscuity is to white fraternities and sororities…except stepping requires much more practice. I’m no stepping expert, and don’t even really enjoy watching it, but these bitches clearly bit their moves from the East Compton Clovers.
I see you, white devils!
Watch the winning routine below, and think of what their sorority sisters must’ve been thinking when they were practicing this shit in the sorority house garden…
It’s Thursday night, Day Two of this epic four-day wash-out in the city of Boston. Any plans to prey on the fragile minds of hot intoxicated college girls have been dashed by the shitty weather, and it’s barely quarter past 9 on a Thursday night. Tonight = FAIL, and it’s still early.
So imagine my pleasant surprise when I stumble upon a site called Hipster Wife Hunting. I just assumed some smart dude started the site to convince a bunch of hot hipster chicks he was actually interested in how much they love the Dirty Projectors and Audrey Hepburn movies in order to get them all gooey and wet beneath their thrift store leggings. Being well-acquainted with the mental state of hipster chicks–fragile like the aforementioned college girls, just slightly less distracted by bright lights and shiny objects–I was prepared for at least a good half-hour of e-stalking that would at least let me forget some of this wasted night.
Within spending two minutes on the site, I learned a valuable lesson: no matter what happens beneath those leggings, a hipster dude will always be more of a pussy than a hipster chick.
The guy who runs this site is exactly the kind of bitch-made hipster dude who would hoodwink me so viciously. Not only were these chicks were extremely disappointing in terms of hotness (the lone exception being above), but the site consists of a bunch of brief homo-erotic interviews with girls that are designed to make the interviewer feel good about his own gaping vag. Just a bunch of groan-inducing inquiries about what music they would play for their unborn kids or their favorite brand of organic hummus. I should have known better when the site description read “dedicated to the admiration and appreciation of the hipster female. And we have t-shirts.”
Fucking hipsters.
Luckily for us this tool posted a link to his Twitter page, which has as a background a picture of him with Jude Law’s head pasted on where his should be (really). As JTTS readers, we need you to curb this epidemic of hipster dudes who refuse to indulge in promoting their female counterparts as sexual objects. I can’t tell you to specifically do anything for legal reasons *WINK* but you know what to do. Together we can end this shit and truly do justice to hot hipster girls by learning about their favorite albums and THEN seeing them nekked. Godspeed.
Fresh Produce, JTTS.com’s infamous monthly party, is back with special guest Jeru The Damaja! Yep, we’re bringing him back, but this time to celebrate his birthday. So bake a cake, wrap some presents and head over to the Good Life Saturday night. As always, resident DJs Tommee and Knife provide the soundtrack and you’ll have to wait in line if you come late. Let the madness begin!
Sat, Feb. 27th/ 10pm-2am/ 21+/ No Cover
@ Good Life – 28 Kingston St. Boston, MA
As if I didn’t already have issues with the United States military. Check this shit out – I call it Marine core. The worst part? These assholes are on Sony. Next time someone tells you that the major labels know what they’re doing – direct them to this video. If you supported the troops before this, I bet that’s soon to change…
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I used to watch this shit all the time back in high school.
I have no problem with funny hip-hop.
In fact, I’m a huge fan of Weird Al and Ol Dirty Needle.
I also like comedy in real hip-hop.
For me it doesn’t get better than Sean Price or pre-reggaeton Noreaga.
But I do hate my YUPPIE friends whenever something like this drops.
They all feel the need to call me and ask if I share their enthusiasm.
Got about 15 texts, tweets, and emails about Aziz yesterday.
Well this time I’m not being cordial.
Sure, the Aziz album could be hilarious (unless this track is an indication)
But fuck all of you anyway.
And Lonely Island too.
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LISTEN: Aziz – AAAAAAAANGRY
Although I’ve always found B. Dolan to be one of hip-hop’s mightiest politically charged performers, his disc-length poetic pieces have confused (and even bored) the piss out of me. That said, numbskulls (like me) who like to wash down anarchy with speaker candy can thank Anticon legend Alias for laying a dozen fine frameworks through which the Strange Famous underboss could, as old white folks say, “do some raps.”
There are thousands of MCs who rhyme about high-ranking war criminals and corporate genocide, but few wax progressive notes like Dolan. Like his long-time accomplice Sage Francis, Dolan plays both the abstract artist and the accessible bong-toking poly-sci professor.
It takes a liner note and lyric look-along to absorb the full dose, but “Marvin” clicks immediately. Same goes for the thoughtfully morbid “Border Crossing” and “Kitchen Sink,” on which Dolan throws everything from introspection to a wee bit of bounce. Most important, though, is the way a jab like “Buddy Buddy” can criticize without pointing fingers. Indeed, “Fifty Ways” exposes whores better than any righteous subterranean attack on Young Jeezy’s vapidity.
I saw a great German graf flick this afternoon called Whole Train. It’s been out for a few years – you might have heard some cuts from the soundtrack – but it just premiered stateside at a few film fests (including the German Film Fest at Collidge Corner in Brookline).
The flick was fresh – Kids meets Trainspotting meets Wild Style. I recommend the shit out of it to anyone who’s ever bombed, tagged, or gotten bagged. Old toys (like me) should also be inspired – I just threw up three pieces in my basement. I’ll get an earful from my landlord any day now, but that’s better than the cops knocking though.
