Canadian Mystery Woman…
You’re looking at one of the greatest pieces of tail in the western hemisphere. An ass reportedly belonging to a Miss Lorie Racicot, the 2008 Miss Canada. I know what you’re thinking. I thought it too. Rest assured I just said Miss Canada, not Miss Brazil or Miss Puerto Rico– Mother Fucking Canada.
Now when I first saw this picture (here), in what was a thread on UndergroundHipHop.com allegedly showing Miss Canada’s assets, I was immediately suspicious. Not only is the UGHH message board a safe haven for incorrect knowledge but let’s face facts. Canada is known for many things, but in all my soulless 24 hour sun cycles I’ve served on this god forsaken planet have I ever been led to believe that Canada could export anything even capable of achieving this most gorgeous levels of ass perfection. I mean look at that thing..
I wanted to know just who the fuck this Miss Canada thinks she is. Why hasn’t she defected to America yet where she could be making millions in rap videos? Why have I never heard– rather seen her before? Maybe there is truth to this Canada theory. So I did some research, and I was aroused and horrified by the many nuggets of knowledge I gleaned on my journey of Canadian ass discovery. I also learned a lot about myself. For instance, I’m apparently a very creepy dude and amazingly talented at e-stalking people. Fuck it. Common knowledge at this point probably anyway..
So before I begin, let’s get the rest of the “Miss Canada” pictures out the way:
Now, even from this set alone, I’m not 100% convinced that all of these shots are of the same girl. But more importantly — I had to find out if any of them are actually of THE girl. Namely, my sweet Lorie.
I started with a Google search, looking for Miss Canada’s myspace page. Every hot bitch on the planet has a myspace right? Where else can they get that instant whore-tention they all desperately crave. That led to me this page right here.
Hmm.. all of the above shots are in the photo section, but clearly this isn’t Lorie’s official page. It says she lives in Florida for chrissakes and I sincerly doubt she would register the myspace page: myspace.com/pussyreal. A dead end.
Another Google search turned up this blog post on The Industry Shakedown. As you can see the author faced the same dilemma that I encountered: “Now when my boy e-mailed me these pic’s with the title “Miss Canada 2008″ I was skeptical. I’ve been getting my search on and I can’t really determine if this is indeed Lorie Racicot, Miss Canada 2008.” .
And while that blog post provided me no answers, it led me to my next golden jackpot of knowledge. The Miss Canada 2008 Official Website and a look deep within the competion of Miss Canada..
Dear god. Now THIS is the Canada I’m talking aboot. That’s the level of talent I expect!
But let’s continue with the fucking heaven sent anomaly known as “Ass of The Gods”.
Here is Lorie Racicot winning her award. Taken directly from the official Miss Canada 2008 website.
That COULD in fact be her in the pics right??
I don’t know.
I saw this shot and thought a little older maybe? Maybe those initial pics were her when she was younger? But the Miss Canada website lists her age @ 24… They can’t be that long ago could they.. I mean, it’s close enough..
So is that it? I think so..
That WAS her in all of those shots. All I needed was an ass shot and I could shut down my laptop, case closed. Mystery solved.
God dammit.. The ass is clearly not the same. But how.. Why…?
This is a mystery that can only be solved with the help of the people of the internet. Perhaps some wandering visitor will grace this page and close the gap on this perplexing riddle. Maybe Lorie herself will one day Google her name and land here and explain everything.
But until that day…